


Where The Grass Is Purple

by crow_feathers



Series: Finding Home [3]
Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Asriel being protective of his sibling, Don’t copy to another site, F/F, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Past Child Abuse, agender Kris, probably not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2019-11-20 13:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crow_feathers/pseuds/crow_feathers
Summary: Several weeks after Susie moves into Ralsei's castle, Kris brings a new visitor to the dark world; when Asriel comes home for break, the last thing he expected was to find Kris in the company of a strange black goat.(This will be the third and final fic for Finding Home.)





	1. Chapter 1

It’s early for Kris to be visiting again, but Ralsei smiles when he hears the heavy castle door opening anyway. He stands up, depositing the dirty rag into the bucket before stretching the tension out of his back. He had been mostly finished wiping the dust off this wall anyway.

The castle isn’t as lonely now that Susie is living with him, but it’s always a joy to see Kris again.

He calls out a greeting and starts towards the castle entrance. Maybe the three of them can cook something together today. He’s about to make this suggestion out loud when he sees Kris isn’t alone.

“Oh, Kris! You brought a friend!”

Introductions are made somewhat hastily before Ralsei invites Kris and the deer girl Noelle to sit before excusing himself to bring Susie.

He knocks on the door gently. “Susie? Kris is back, and they brought a friend with them.”

There’s a familiar grunt, followed by a thud from the other side of the door. Susie would probably sleep a lot better if she would just follow a consistent schedule. He never tells her this, though. She probably wouldn’t listen to him.

Instead of trying to ignore him and go back to sleep like usual, Susie actually gets out of bed and opens the door fairly quickly today.

“Did you say Kris brought someone else?” Susie tosses her head to shake the hair out of her bloodshot eyes.

Ralsei informs her that yes, there is another guest, and that he needs to start the tea promptly. He leads her to the dining area briskly. It would be rude to keep everyone waiting.

Susie joins Kris and Noelle at the table, and Ralsei excuses himself to prepare tea for everyone.

He listens to their conversation from the other room as he fills the kettle. Noelle and Susie are exchanging awkward greetings as he retrieves three - no, four now - mugs.

“Everyone is so worried about you! People are starting to think you’re dead now!” Noelle’s voice carries through the air easily. He finds himself nodding along in agreement. It really isn’t nice to just vanish without telling anyone.

A hand falls on his shoulder, and he can’t stop himself from jumping. Turning around, it’s none other than Kris. They aren’t quite smiling, but there’s the faintest suggestion of one hiding on their face. A faint heat rises in his cheeks, and he turns back to the kettle before they might see. “Kris, you startled me! You’re lucky I wasn’t holding a kettle full of hot tea when you did that.” He tries to put on his best scolding voice, but it doesn’t sound entirely genuine.

“The tea is taking a while.”

Ralsei is tempted to inform Kris that it’s barely been five minutes, but he refrains. Kris probably just wanted to get away from the awkwardness in the other room. “As much as I enjoy having company, I can’t imagine how... much people must be worried about her.” He has to stop himself from using the word ‘selfish.’ It would be unfair to say something so harsh when there’s so many details he doesn’t know yet. That is, if Susie will ever feel inclined to share them. Kris has offered to tell him, but he wants to hear it from her directly.

“If she goes back now, she’ll have a hard time getting away to visit again.” There’s a hint of something in their voice that Ralsei can’t quite identify, something between a sadness and a darkness.

The kettle lets out a sharp whine. Kris lets their hand fall off his shoulder. Ralsei tries not to look disappointed.

He hmm’s thoughtfully. “Well, it’s Susie’s choice to make. Help me bring the mugs?”

By the time tea is served, Noelle seems much less tense, and by the time it’s all been drank and chatted over, she actually seems to be relaxed. She even laughs at some of Susie’s stories about Lancer.

She had been kind enough to pack both food and creature comforts, most of which have been removed from the pack and now sit on the table. The now empty backpack she had been wearing rests in her lap, arms wrapped around it protectively.

“Is anyone else hungry?” Susie eyes the box of macaroni on the table, looking like she’s close to drooling. “No offense to Ralsei, his cooking is seriously amazing, but I could really go for some good old mac ‘n’ cheese right now.”

Everyone agrees enthusiastically: Susie eager for some comfort food from her world, Ralsei excited to try something new, and Noelle is pleased to make Susie smile. Even Kris looks livelier than usual as the group shuffles into the kitchen.

Ralsei gets a pot of water boiling per Noelle’s instruction, turning the box over in his paws as if it’s a rare, valuable treasure. It’s from the world of light, and that makes it special. Susie is leaning against the counter, cracking jokes with Kris as they climb to sit on it. Noelle stands in front of the stove, trying to pretend not to be sneaking glances at Susie and failing miserably.

Pretending to still be engrossed in the box, he sneaks a glance of his own at Kris. They meet his gaze and pointedly look at Noelle, as if to say, “Can you believe how obvious she is?”

For someone so reserved, Kris is eerily aware of other people's’ feelings. Ralsei had heard Kris teasing Susie about Noelle having a crush on her, but until now, he had dismissed the claim as plain teasing.

They turn their attention back to Susie before she catches on, and she must have just said something outrageously funny, because they’re actually smiling for once. The sight makes his chest feel tight, and he hurriedly lowers his eyes before they realize he’s still staring at them.

“Um, R-Ralsei, I kind of need that box now. For the macaroni.” Noelle is reaching for the box in his paws.

“Right, of course.” He gives Noelle a smile as she pulls the box out of his grasp. “Sorry, I guess I zoned out a little.”

Susie laughs at him good-naturedly. “You were really into that box, dude. Like, for a second I thought you were gonna ask it on a date or something.”

“I just thought it was interesting, because it came from your world.” His face heats, but so does Noelle’s, so at least he isn’t alone.

“I’m still trying to reconcile this whole ‘other world inside our school’ thing,” Noelle says as she dumps the contents of the box into the pot, thankfully changing the subject. “I thought Kris was just playing a prank on me to be mean.”

“Kris isn’t mean!” Ralsei blurts out. Kris looks at him again and he can feel his face turning red, but before he can continue embarrassing himself, Susie (probably unintentionally) rescues him.

“Yeah, _I’m_ the mean one,” she brags, pointing to herself with her thumb and giving a fierce grin.

“Um, well, I guess you don’t know them very well, but...”

Susie picks up where Noelle off. “They picked on you a lot when you guys were kids, didn’t they?”

Ralsei can’t believe he’s hearing this, but Kris just barley raises their shoulders in their version of a shrug. “Yeah.”

Kris doesn’t apologize or elaborate, and Susie frowns thoughtfully. The atmosphere is threatening to sour. Luckily, Noelle announces the food is ready before there’s much time to dwell on unpleasant memories.

Well, for everyone else, at least. The food (“Mac’ ‘n’ cheese,” they call it) is very good, and Ralsei tries to savor every bite ( _Kris gets to eat things like this everyday!)_ but his mind keeps going back to what Susie said in the kitchen.

Did Kris really used to have a mean streak? Or at least, were they the type to play pranks on people that could come across as mean spirited? He’s only known Noelle for one afternoon so far, and she’s very sweet - not the kind of person to play harsh pranks on.

“God, that was so good,” Susie says, looking like she’s barely holding back from licking the plate. Naturally, she was the first to finish eating. Ralsei has suspected for a while now that she wasn’t getting enough to eat before coming to live in the dark world.

“I’m, um, glad you liked it,”  Noelle says quietly.

Kris looks up from their food. “You know Susie-”

“Stop it, Kris. You know I’m not going back there.” She leans back, puts her hands behind her head and stretches.

Noelle perks up. “W-well, I can always bring more.” She looks like she wants to say more, but wisely doesn’t.

Ralsei offers Susie a smile. “I can probably learn how to make this, Susie. It won’t be as good as the real thing, but it’ll be fun!”

“There’s something about the cheapness of the boxed stuff that makes it better, but yeah, we’ll have to try making some of our own.”

Kris pipes up. “You mean you’ll lick the mixing bowls while Ralsei cooks.” They say it with a slight smile, which are so few and far between it takes Ralsei off guard.

“Hey! I can actually make bread now without completely ruining it. All by myself!”

“You didn’t ruin it, Susie. It was just a little,” Ralsei pauses, looking for the kindest way to say burnt, “um, overcooked, is all.”

“You mean burned, dude.”

Noelle smiles awkwardly, probably feeling left out. Before he can take pity on her, Kris stands up abruptly.

“If we don’t start heading home now, I’m gonna get in trouble.”

Noelle’s smile quickly dissolves. “Oh. Does it take a long time to go back?”

“Kinda,” Susie says with a slight frown.

Noelle rises somewhat reluctantly. “Well, I don’t want to worry my father…”

Standing with her, Ralsei begins gathering up dishes. “Of course! You can come back and visit us any time. Thank you for the food, Noelle,” he beams.

 

* * *

 

“So you weren’t lying for once.” Noelle is still struggling to keep up with Kris and take in her surroundings at the same time, but from what she can see, the Dark World is very lovely in its own way. Purple grass! That was definitely something she hasn't seen before.

Kris leads her past what was apparently a bake sale just a few weeks ago. Why the booths are still left is anyone’s guess. Next time she visits, she’s going to have to look around a lot more.

“Sometimes the truth is more interesting.” Kris strides forward, thoroughly uninterested in the scenery.

“That’s one way of putting it. Well, thank you for showing me anyway.”

Kris doesn’t respond, and the rest of their journey is silent. It is indeed a long walk, and near the end they even pass through another castle. It’s in much better condition than the one Susie is living in. There’s even staff.

(What a strange thing - Susie living in a castle.)

There’s a young monster named Lancer living there who claims to be in charge, and brief introductions are made before Kris insists on pressing on.

“Is that kid really in charge of that castle?” She asks after they’re out of earshot.

“It’s a long story, but yeah. He put his dad in jail after he tried to kill the four of us.”

_“What?”_

“This is the way out,” they say, stopping at some sort of - fountain? Inactive geyser? She’s not sure.

Before she can ask about the supposed murder attempt, Kris steps forward into whatever it is, and vanishes. With a gasp, she steps into where their shadow had just been.


	2. Chapter 2

Susie starts filling the sink to wash dishes in, deciding to help Ralsei without making him ask for once. It’s easier for her to think when she can keep her hands busy. He hands her a stack of plates, and she dumps them into the sink absentmindedly.

Before today, she had never actually had a real conversation with Noelle. Of course she hadn’t been oblivious to her existence - it would be pretty difficult to not notice the mayor’s daughter. But why had Noelle even noticed her?

Ralsei’s voice tears her out of her thoughts. “Oh, you’re washing today, Susie?”

“You said it takes too long to get your paws dry.” She responds flatly. Shit. Is she actually admitting to doing something nice, on purpose? This new lifestyle must be making her soft.

Or maybe it’s just making her less of a bitch. She smiles somewhat bitterly at the idea. Having regular access to food, being able to leave her room without having to tiptoe around in fear, not having to lock her door at night and _definitely_ never needing to escape out of the window after dark…

She’s getting used to it. It’s a little alarming.

Instead of saying anything smug, Ralsei just smiles at her and starts drying.

After a while he says, “It was really nice of Noelle to visit and bring us Lightner food.”

“Yeah,” she grunts. Even if Ralsei doesn’t have some kind of angle, she’s not ready to talk about the entire exchange before thinking it over more. Why had she even bothered visiting?

Another few moments pass in silence before Ralsei breaks it again. “Did Kris really used to pick on Noelle?” His voice is carefully guarded - uncharacteristic of him.

Oh boy, here they go. She keeps her eyes focused on the dishes. “Uh, yeah. I wasn’t around for much of it, but I definitely heard about it afterwards. Like, one time when she was little, they hid under her bed to scare her, ‘cause she thought that humans would hide there and ‘get her’ in her sleep.”

Ralsei listens thoughtfully. “That doesn’t sound like Kris.”

Susie shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, dude. Maybe they’re finally starting to mellow out because of all this hero cr- stuff you keep telling them. Maybe they’re just growing up.” Or maybe there’s another reason. She makes a mental note to keep a closer eye on Kris.

If she has to give them credit for one thing, they’re sneaky. Not just physically, though they are good at making a silent approach. They’re sneaky in the other way, too.

For once Ralsei doesn’t have any kind of obnoxiously gentle reply, and they resume cleaning in silence. He’s probably got just as much on his mind as she does. Even as they put away the food Noelle brought, they exchange few words.

After finishing the dishes, they continue yesterday’s dusting without discussing it. They work along silently for some time before Susie finds herself talking.

“No- Noelle said everyone thinks I might be dead. Is it selfish of me to stay here?”

The question surprises both of them. She’s not sure if she meant to say that out loud or not. But the question is out, and now her skin is crawling with something unknown, something that stings.

“Well,” he says, not looking up from his dusting, “I don’t have much of the details, so I can’t really say.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Her hand is curling into a fist, nails digging into her dusting rag. Why? “It’s…” The rest of the words won’t come out. Her eyes are stinging.

“What?” Ralsei looks up from his dusting now, trying to meet her eyes, and she finds herself having to turn away.

_It’s so easy for you, you don’t know what it’s like._

“Susie?” That familiar concern is back in his voice, like a brick to the head, and she’s going to cry. Out of sadness or anger or frustration, she isn’t sure.

She can’t make herself speak actual words like a civilized person, but she tries, and the sound she makes is somewhere between a hiss and a crumpled wail. Her chest feels so heavy. Even turned away, she can feel his eyes piercing her skin.

She shakes her head no.

_No, I’m not okay. No, I can’t talk about it. No, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to._

And then -

Something light lands on her shoulder, and when she looks up it’s Ralsei’s paw, offering. He’s looking forward, at nothing and she can’t tell if she’s greatful or not.

It’s not understanding he’s offering; it’s acceptance, a gesture that says _it’s okay,_ and it breaks her. She doesn’t try to contain the heaving sobs that wrack her now.

Just as it feels like she’s cried the last of her tears, Ralsei says, “It’s okay if you don’t want to go back,” and another wave of tears washes over her.

They don’t finish the dusting.

 

* * *

 

“Hello, Kris. Did you have fun with your friends today?” Mom greets them at the door, and they can smell the pie before they’re even inside. It makes them think of Ralsei and his constant supply of cupcakes and warm smiles.

They shrug at her, dodging a hug as they step inside the house. They didn’t mind the hugs so much when they were younger, but at sixteen, they’re only willing to tolerate them from Ralsei. The back of their mind asks, _wait, why?_ But they push the thought aside. “We made macaroni and talked about stuff.”

Mom looks slightly disappointed and maybe a little surprised about their dodge, but she recovers quickly, going for a pat on the back. “That sounds like a pleasant way to spend an afternoon,” she says, although she sounds skeptical. There’s an unspoken _Well, as long as you are staying out of trouble_ hiding in her voice.

She sighs, and they sense that she’s about to start talking about Susie’s “disappearance” again. It’s been just over a month, and the town is only just now starting to lose interest. Maybe because even the police have stopped looking for her now.

“Kid’s like what, seventeen? She probably just needed to, you know, go,” Officer Undyne had finally declared. That settled that, everyone apparently thought.

They force their mind to focus on the here and now. “Is Asriel getting here soon?” They ask, ready to change the subject. They want to not care if she thinks they’re lying about their activities, but it does sting a little. Either way, she can’t punish them on a slight suspicion.

“He should be here on Monday. His father has already offered to pick him up.” Her tone hardens every time she mentions her ex. Kris learned to ignore it a long time ago, although really, they think her grudge has devolved into absolute pettiness. After the divorce, she rarely uses his name; she simply refers to Asgore as “Your father,” or just “Him,” usually accompanied by a sneer.

“I- Okay.” They can’t admit out loud that they miss him.

When they were younger, the two of them used to spend a good deal of time together. At some point in high school, they started drifting. By the time Asriel was sending out college applications, he was too busy hanging out with his friends and worrying about his education to spend much time lounging around in their bedroom playing video games with them.

She heads into the kitchen to do whatever it is she needs to do with the pie, and they follow, with a sudden, stupid but impossible to ignore idea popping into their head.

“Hey, Mom?”

“Yes, Kris?”

“Would - would it be okay if one of my friends came over on Monday too?” Thinking fast, they add, “He’s gonna be on break from college too.”

Turning her back to remove the pie from the oven, Mom makes a thoughtful noise. “I didn’t realize you were friends with someone college aged, Kris. Although I suppose it makes sense. Why aren’t they going home for break?”

Kris has always been good at making up lies on the fly. “He wasn’t gonna go home. I don’t think he has a good family. So I told him I would ask if he can come here.” As far as they know, Ralsei has no family. But Mom is the very definition of a bleeding heart: they don’t even _need_ to concoct a sob story to tug at her sympathies. All they have to do is hint at one, and her imagination will do the rest.

“Oh,” she says rather heavily, and they know they’ve got her.

“So?” They prod. They’re pretty sure they’re in the clear, but they need a more concrete answer before they can start making official plans.

“And how long would this friend of yours be staying?” She sets the pie on the counter to cool. It smells delicious.

“Uh, I think his college has the same time off as Asriel’s.”

“Well,” she says, turning around to try and meet their eyes, “he would have to share the room with you and Asriel, so you’ll have to ask him and make sure he’s okay with having a guest over for a few days.”

“Cool. I’ll text him.”

Mom makes a sound of agreement, and they head for their room.

They already know their brother will agree - he’s just as much a bleeding heart as Mom is - but they decide to retrieve their phone and start drafting a message now instead of later. It will be easier to get Ralsei to agree if all the strings have already been pulled.

They take a seat on their bed and start typing.

_Hey bro, Mom said I could have a friend stay over for break if you were okay with sharing the room. Long story short, his family sucks and he doesn’t have anywhere else to stay for break, so I told him I would ask if he can stay with us. He’s around your age BTW._

Their finger hovers over the send button, and they frown. They haven’t called or texted their brother in months, and now, it’s to ask him a favor. Their finger moves to the backspace button, but they hesitate. Sure, Asriel would say yes to this message. They’re good on that front.

But would it make him mad?

The words of their least favorite teacher runs through their mind. _“You’re a mean, manipulative little wretch, but you don’t fool me,”_ she’d said, leaning in close and dropping her voice low so only they could hear. They don’t remember exactly what had prompted it, but they vaguely remember teasing Noelle about something.

Are they, though?

Sure, they know just what to say and how to say it to make sure they always get what they want, and they do enjoy pranks, but it’s not like they’ve ever actually hurt anyone, or lied about anything life or death important.

Does letting the entire town think Susie is actually missing and probably dead count? They shake their head. Even if they tried to tell anyone, they wouldn’t be believed.

Either way, the message won’t write itself, so they turn their attention back to their phone. If they send the message now, as is, it’ll be obvious they’re only messaging him because they need to, not because they want to. But if they try to start up a conversation first, that would look just as bad, maybe even worse.

They stare at their phone’s display until their eyes hurt. Irritated, they blink a few times and press the send button. Almost as an afterthought, they send another message:

_I’m glad you’re coming home for break. I’ve missed you._

Because they’re alone, they allow themself a deeper frown. It’s not manipulation if it’s true, is it?

They flop down on the bed. They’re tired, and tomorrow they have to take a trip to the dark world and tell Ralsei he’s invited to stay at their house.

Will he even want to leave the dark world? Their heart lurches at the idea of him saying no, but they force it out of their mind. They can’t do anything about it now.


	3. Chapter 3

“Alright dude, I’ll see you later. Have a good break.” With a wave, Asriel’s roommate, an upbeat human named Roy waves him goodbye, disappearing down the hallway.

“You too!” He calls after him. When it comes to roommates, he really couldn’t ask for anyone better. Roy is friendly, but spends more time out with his boyfriend than in their shared room. When he is around, he’s quiet, polite, and never makes messes. They’re in some of the same classes, and while Asriel’s notes are always neatly organized, he’s always willing to share. Between the two of them, the classes they have in common are a breeze.

Smiling, Asriel turns back to give the room another once-over. He’s enjoyed his time at college, despite the stress, but he’s definitely ready for some down time with his family. He wonders if Mom will have a big meal ready, and the mere thought of a real home cooked meal makes his stomach rumble. The cinnamon scented candle Mom bought for him smells nice, but it doesn’t even compare to the scent of  _ home. _

It doesn’t look like he’s left anything important behind. With a slight shrug, he grabs his suitcase and starts heading for the airport. He’s got plenty of time, but he likes to be early for important things like flights.

After arriving at the airport, he settles down in the waiting area and shoots a quick text to his parents, separately. A new message from Mom comes almost immediately.

_ Have a nice flight, dear. _

He taps out a quick response.

_ I will! ]:-) _

Dad doesn’t respond, so Asriel figures he must be sleeping. He’s done a lot of that, after the divorce. He shakes his head; they were so happy together, before. He still doesn’t understand what happened between the two of them, and he kind of hopes he never will.

It’ll be at least another two hours before he needs to meet him at the other airport, so he’s not too worried about having to wait for him.

His eyes land on his siblings name in his contacts list. Kris. He rereads their text from yesterday. The message had surprised him, and he would have preferred to mull it over for longer before responding. But it was a time sensitive issue that Kris had waited until nearly the last minute to ask, so he had simply replied with _Yes, of course your friend can stay over!_ instead of _If you missed me,_ _why haven’t you called or even texted me at all this semester?_

And since when did Kris start having friends outside of him? As soon as the thought enters his mind he feels a flush of shame. Of course Kris is making friends without him. They’re  _ supposed  _ to. He reaches up to touch the half heart pendant that he still wears under his shirt, wondering if they still wear theirs. Probably not. He decides to find out for sure when he gets home.

The first time Roy had seen him remove the necklace to sleep, he had asked if it was for a ‘date-mate.’ Asriel had laughed and said no, feeling childish. Roy didn’t ask any further questions, and that had been that.

Coming back to the present, he wonders what their new friend is like. Apparently his home life isn’t very good - a foreign concept to Asriel. Even if his parents don’t get along anymore, they both love him and Kris with everything they have in them.

It used to feel like the four of them could take on anything together. Now, Mom is bitter and Dad is does nothing but sleep and give away flowers.

The PA announces that it’s time for him to board and he shakes himself out of his thoughts. For now, it’s time to board.

***

True to his word, Dad is there to meet him at the airport. Even as a young adult, it’s no trouble for Dad to sweep him into a crushing hug and lift him off his feet. Asrie complains andl pretends to be embarrassed, but secretly, he’s missed this.

After being released from the hug, they chatter back and forth excitedly while they wait for his luggage. Well, it’s less chatter and more a barrage of questions on both sides. Is he having a good time at college? How is business at the shop? Has he made a lot of friends? What’s his roommate like? How is Kris doing?

By the time they’ve made it out of the airport and into the truck, his throat is dry from laughing. He doesn’t mind. Dad’s laughing at his own joke as he starts the truck, which sputters in protest. Asriel smiles wider than he had been. It’s going to be a good break.

* * *

 

Kris never thought they’d be sneaking into school during off-hours, but here they are. They pat their pocket, reminding themself that they still have the key they stole -  _ borrowed - _ from Mom to let themself in without breaking any windows.

If Susie had just asked, they would have helped her. Probably.

They unlock the door without trouble, marveling at how easy this whole thing is. Why haven’t they ever done this before? Though there’s never really been any reason for them to break in during the off hours until now. Sure, they could come up with some excellent prank ideas, but nothing good enough to risk the kind of hellfire Mom might rain down.

They shut the door behind them and power walk down the hall to the portal. This needs to be a quick in and out mission. If everything goes smoothly, Mom will never realize they’re gone.

They’ve been to the dark world enough times that the falling sensation of getting there shouldn’t be a shock to them, but it still is. Their stomach falls with them, but at least they know to not land on their back.

The first time they found themself here, the dark world had been alien and frightening. Now, they don’t even think twice about the way their skin changes colors. They keep their pace up, speeding by the scenery.

By the time Ralsei’s castle comes into view, they’re out of breath. They slow down now, just slightly. They need to catch their breath before they can ask their question.

* * *

 

Susie crosses her arms, openly fighting the urge to outright snarl at the human. “Then what am  _ I _ supposed to do while I’m here by myself?”

Ralsei can see her nostrils flaring with every breath. He bites back a sigh.

Though he’s kept his cool, he’s a little annoyed at Kris too. They had strode in, looking - for them - frazzled, and then suddenly asked Ralsei if he would be willing to stay in their house, in their world, for maybe an entire week.

The thought of seeing their world is more than appealing.

Naturally, Susie is immediately upset before he even had time to think the offer over. She stomps her foot like a child, and the gesture saps Ralsei of all his remaining patience.

“Susie, I haven’t even decided if I was going or not,” he breathes, hoping to strike that perfect balance between rightfully exasperated and unduly harsh. “They just asked.”

She at least has the decency to look embarrassed before turning her face away. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Right.”

Kris hasn’t said anything after Susie started pouting, but now they speak up, their regularly neutral expression on the verge of cracking. “Everyone already said they were okay with it, if that’s what-”

“Can you even  _ leave? _ ” Susie asks, curiosity suddenly replacing petulance.

“I don’t know. I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t be able to, though.” There’s never been any reason for him to even want to leave, let alone see if it’s possible.

“But do you want to?” Kris asks. A thin frown replaces their usual expression now, and it might be the most emotion they’ve ever displayed.

The thought of spending a week with Kris and having a chance to see more from them is even more appealing than just seeing the light world.

It makes him feel weak. He’s already made up his mind, but that would probably upset Susie. He holds up his hands, palm out, hoping to keep her from having another outburst. “How long do I have to think it over?”

There’s a long pause, and it feels like a standoff.

“Uh,” Kris starts.

“Heh. Someone waited till the last minute,” Susie says, expression smoothing out into a shadow of a smile.

“Maybe,” Kris responds simply.

Sighing, Ralsei turns to face Susie directly. “Will you be okay here by yourself?”

“I guess.” She uncrosses her arms, obviously still unhappy with the situation. “I guess I can babysit Lancer for the week,” she adds, as if she’s any more responsible than Lancer is.

Still - it’s her way of apologizing for her behavior, and Ralsei can’t find it in him to point it out to her. There’s still things that need to be talked about before he can leave.

“I’m a little worried about the fountain, though. Susie, I know you don’t want to go back-”

“Damn straight.”

“-but if anything happens here, would you be able to come and get me?”

“I mean. Yeah, if shit really hits the fan, I can come get you,” Susie says. She scowls at him, but he’s known her long enough to know that it’s just for show.

“So you’re coming?” Kris blurts out.

Ralsei smiles. “Yup!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smoll chapter is smoll


	4. Chapter 4

Noelle stands in front of the Dreemurr house’s door, frowning. Ever since she visited the Dark World, she’s had more questions than ever before. It’s good to know that Susie is safe, and that she’s nice, and that she’s apparently happier there, but why is there some kind of portal in the school? How did they discover it? And most importantly, will Kris tell the truth again?  For once, Kris told her the truth. Would it be tempting fate to hope they’ll do it again? 

She straightens herself and forces her expression back to a pleasant smile before knocking. It doesn’t take long for Mrs. Toriel to appear. Like always, the smell of cooking food bursts from the house.

“Oh! Hello, Noelle.” She greets. To her credit, she quickly tempers her surprised expression into something more neutral. “Were you looking for Kris?”

“Yes ma’am,” Noelle nods.

Toriel opens the door wider and gestures for her to come in. She does, realizing that she hasn’t been inside their house in years.

She had quickly learned that it was best to avoid Kris, even if their older brother was nice.

“They’re in the bedroom. Just leave the door open,” Toriel instructs, as if Noelle has any interest in Kris like that, or an open door would help at all when it’s on the second floor.

“Okay.”

She makes her way down the hall to their room, hooves clicking against the hardwood floors noisily. There’s a reason her family’s home is strictly carpet.

The door is shut, so she knocks gently.

“Kris?”

There’s no response. Maybe they’re listening to music? She knocks again, louder.

“Kris?”

Nothing. Didn’t Toriel say they were here? Raising a hand to cover her eyes just in case, she opens the door and steps inside.

“I’m coming in, Kris.”

When there’s still no response, she uncovers her eyes to find the room empty and the window open. Of course. With a sigh, she adjusts the door so it’s halfway open and harder to tell that Kris has snuck out. Seating herself on top of Asriel’s bed, she folds her hands and decides to wait.

She  _ could _ rifle through their drawers, but the human’s half of the room is so barren, she doubt she’d find anything useful or interesting.

So, legs crossed and hands clasped together, she waits. She’s good at waiting. She’s had a lot of practice.

When her phone informs her that she’s been waiting for half an hour, she’s almost ready to give up. Before she can though, a hand appears on the window sill. They pull themself up, and their genuine look of surprise is absolutely worth waiting half an hour for.

“Hey,” she says, impressing herself by not stuttering. “You owe- you owe me one for not getting you in trouble.”

“This is a really bad time,” they say, face smoothing back out to its usual blank expression.

She stands, scowling. “I suppose it’s always a bad-”

“No. I mean it. It’s a bad time.”

“Kris you always-”

They shove her out the door. “I will text you and we’ll figure things out later, but now I really need you to just go.” For once they sound like they’re actually concerned about something. It’s creepy. “Please?”

She huffs, but doesn’t bother trying to argue. “Fine. I’ll cover for you one more time, but you really owe me a lot of explanations.”

She has to stop and take a moment to close her eyes and breathe deeply before going down the steps. They’ve always been mean spirited and self centered, but the older they get, the less tolerant she’s becoming.

When she opens her eyes again, she’s ready to put on a smile and walk down the steps without stomping her frustration.

Toriel is on the phone now, and she smiles at Noelle as she leaves, giving a little wave. Noelle returns it, not caring that her false smile probably doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Outside, she just barely hears a feminine voice in the direction of Kris’s room. Despite her better judgement, she decides to check it out.

Someone with black fur is standing under the bedroom window talking to Kris, and it feels like she’s met them before.

And then it hits her. It’s Ralsei.

_ Kris, what did you do? _

* * *

The mood had shifted almost as soon as they pulled into town. Dad had switched from telling stories about his college days to nostalgically recalling events from Asriel’s childhood, back before the divorce. Now that they’re sitting Mom’s driveway, it’s crushingly somber.

Asriel shuts the door and makes his way to the driver’s side, still holding his single suitcase.

“Aren’t you coming in, Dad?” He asks, stopping himself from reminding Dad it’s his house, too. It’s not anymore. He keeps forgetting.

Dad keeps his gaze fixed firmly at the steering wheel. “I don’t think that would be a good idea, Azzy.”

It’s a sad reminder that things will never go back to the way they were. Asriel has to consciously keep his voice steady. “Alright. Well, tomorrow you, me and Kris are all gonna go out for lunch, okay?”

Dad turns to smile at him. “Sounds like a plan, kiddo!”

It’s forced, and they both know it, at least Asriel hopes so. At least he’s trying.

The sound of the front door opening tells him he needs to hurry up.

“Well. Thanks for the ride, Dad. Just call me whenever you’re ready to get lunch, okay?”

Dad nods and shoots him a thumbs-up in agreement, and Asriel waves, forcing a smile of his home. Suitcase in hand, he turns around to see who’s on the porch.

Kris is standing on the porch now, arms stiffly at their sides and watching Dad drive away. They aren’t looking at him.

“Kris!” Asriel is about to drop his luggage and hug his sibling, but then someone else walks out of the house.

“You must be Asriel!” They beam, passing by Kris and extending a paw at him.

Feeling awkward and suddenly realizing Kris never told him what this person’s name is, he reaches out to shake their hand. “So you’re the friend Kris was talking about.” It comes out sounding rude, and he can just hear Mom chastising him now, but he can’t help it.

Out of all the people Kris could have made friends with, they chose another goat. The feeling of being replaced is cutting through him like a knife.

There’s an awkward pause before Asriel asks, “So what’s your major?”

“Uh-” he starts.

“Biology,” Kris interrupts.

It’s the first thing they’ve said since seeing him for the first time in forever.

“I see,” he says. He forces another smile, and he wonders how many more forced smiles he’ll have to inflict on other people.

Thankfully before it can get anymore awkward, Mom rushes out - Kris and the other goat both sidestep out of her way - and sweeps him into a hug with a little squeal of joy.

“I have missed you so much, my child!”

Well, at least someone does.


	5. Chapter 5

Noelle is surprised to find the school unlocked this late in the evening. Then again, there’s a good chance that Kris has been here recently, and simply didn’t bother to lock the doors when they left. They’ve always been inconsiderate like that.

But the knob is turning, and the door opening, and that’s really all she could hope for right now. If Kris can’t (won’t) talk to her and tell her what’s going on, Susie will.

Actually, she just wants to see Susie. Admitting that to herself comes surprisingly easy.

Hooves clacking loudly against the tile floor, she rushes to the hallway Kris had told her to meet them in a couple days ago. It shouldn't be hard to go back. Last time, they had just started walking before they had fallen down there.

She walks down the hall with purpose, thinking about Susie.

Before she even knows it, she’s falling.

\---

This time, she manages to land on her feet instead of her back. God, that was embarrassing, even if Kris was the only witness. They hadn’t given her any kind of warning, though. How was she supposed to know they were going to start falling?

This place is still creepy, but at least she knows now it’s not as dangerous as she first thought it would be. Being able to pull a mace out of thin air is still a bit disconcerting, though. Luckily she hasn’t felt the need to use it yet.

When she reaches Castle Town and knocks on the huge wooden door to Ralsei’s castle, no one comes. It’s unlocked, so she lets herself in.

“Susie?” she calls.

There’s no answer.

“Ralsei?”

There’s no response.

She’s spent enough time waiting around at the Dreemurr’s house. Sighing in irritation, she leaves the castle behind and resigns herself to making the trek back home without answers. At least she knows where the exit is now.

* * *

 

“You know, now that your dad can’t tell you what to do anymore, why don’t you just get a real motorcycle?” Susie asks, idly tearing out patches of purple grass.

Lancer looks away. He always gets quiet when she brings up his father. It makes her feel bad, sure, but it’s a valid question. The kid is kind of in charge of this place, now.

“Well, if- if it’s not safe yet, it’s not safe!” Lancer counters, unwilling to admit his true feelings on the subject.

Susie can’t stop her snort of amusement. Like setting a bike on _fire_ is any safer than just riding a regular motorcycle. “Eh, you’re tough. You could handle a real bike.”

Lancer perks up immediately, though he stays seated. “Yeah! I could, couldn’t I?”

“Hell yeah, dude.” Susie raises her hand and releases another swath of purple foliage into the wind. The wind carries it away, and she watches it fly towards a brown figure off into the distance.

Lancer seems to notice it at the same time she does.

“Isn’t that-”

“It’s N- yeah, it’s that reindeer girl.”

What is Noelle doing back here? “I hope nothing went wrong with Ralsei going to their world.”

Noelle is close enough now that Susie can see her face. She’s...smiling?

“I’m sure that blue person is handling everything just fine over there!” Lancer declares. No matter how many times she tells him that their name is Kris, he always refers to them as ‘that blue person.’ Apparently, he’s going to stand by his original nickname.

“Hey, reindeer girl!” Lancer yells, waving.

“I don’t think she’s close enough to hear you, dude,” she says, letting herself fall onto her back. There’s a ceiling here in the Dark World. It’s dark.

Eventually, Noelle reaches them. Lancer pats the grass on his left and Susie’s right, and Noelle frowns thoughtfully.

“You won’t get, uh, grass stains,” Susie says, peering up at her. It’s a good thing her Dark World robes comes down to her ankles.

“Oh,” Noelle replies, awkward. Nevertheless, she seats herself between them, folding her legs under her and smoothing out her robe in an irritatingly proper fashion.

“So, uh, what’re you doing back here?” Internally, Susie is facepalming. Why is she always so lame around this girl? More importantly, why is that bothering her so much? It’s not like they really know each other at all.

Lancer interjects before Noelle can answer. “Because it’s awesome here! Right?”

Instead of clamming up, Noelle laughs, small but genuine. “This place _is_ pretty, but I- I actually wanted to ask Susie about, uh, something.”

Wait, what?

Lancer jumps to his feet. “Oh! Well! When you put it like that!”

In a flash, he’s leapt to his feet and pulled his bicycle up off the ground, feet already on the pedals. “You know where to find me!” He declares, sticking his tongue out at Susie before speeding away. He didn’t even bother to light it on fire, first.

“Huh?” Noelle asks, lost.

Susie can feel heat rising in her cheeks. “I don’t know what that was about. Kid’s a weirdo,” she mutters. Strange that Lancer managed to pick up on...whatever is going on here.

A few moments pass in silence before Noelle speaks again. “So, um, I saw Ralsei at Kris’s house, earlier.” She says quietly.

The wind - where is it coming from, anyway? - picks up, gently making the purple grass sway and bend almost thoughtfully.

“Oh, yeah,” she says lamely. “Kris came over and asked if he wanted to stay with them for a week or whatever.” _And now I’m here pretty much by myself,_ she thinks to herself, slightly bitter.

“I don’t know if you noticed how Ralsei looks at them, but…” She trails off, thankful that she can’t see Noelle’s face right now. The way those two look at each other, well, it’s really something.

“O-oh.”

“Yeah.”

A few more moments pass quietly, with only the sound of the grass rustling in the wind.

“I wish you would come back,” Noelle says, voice so low she’s nearly whispering.

Susie pulls herself up into a sitting position. She makes a point to look down at the grass and not Noelle. “I don’t want to sound mean, but, like…” She trails off again, struggling to find the right words. “Why do you care so much? I’m not important. I’m a nobody, and people are starting to forget about me, right?” Now that she’s started, the words keep pouring out, like vomit. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Noelle looking at her, an unreadable expression on her face. Is it pity? Disgust? Or is it something else entirely?

“It’s not wrong to want to be forgotten, is it? I don’t like people and people don’t like me, so why does it matter if I just disappear down here?”

She turns her head to look at Noelle directly as she asks the last question. Noelle’s eyes have gone wide and Susie wishes she could take the words back. Something about the way Noelle is looking at her _hurts_. She can’t pull her gaze away, though.

“Do you really think no one likes you?” Noelle asks, just as quiet as before. Her ear twitches.

Finally, Susie tears her eyes away from Noelle, opting to look down at the ground where she had been pulling patches of grass out instead. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? People are ready to stop looking for me. Hell, they’re probably glad I’m gone.” She’s just repeating herself at this point, but Noelle really doesn’t seem to be understanding.

“Stop saying that!” Noelle practically yells at her, making her jump slightly.

The last time she had been yelled at- she puts that thought out of her head. He’s not here, she reminds herself again.

Noelle continues, pulling her out of her thoughts. “And-and even if nobody _liked_ you, that isn’t the same as everyone hating you! If-if people don’t like you, it’s because they don’t _know_ you, because you won’t let them know you! Stop…” She quiets herself again, interrupting herself with a little sigh. “Stop saying mean things about yourself. Because it’s not true, and…” Noelle stops to catch her breath, possibly also to gather her thoughts.

Susie is trembling now, and it’s not fear. Trying to keep cool, she looks up to meet Noelle’s eyes again. There’s tears threatening to gather in her eyes.

“And?” She prompts, soul quivering with some unknown distress.

Noelle’s entire face turns red. “And stop saying nobody likes you, because I do!” She’s shouting again, now. “Yes, like that!”

Susie opens her mouth to say something, anything, but all she can manage is a sad little noise somewhere between a squeak and a wheeze.

Noelle’s looking at her like she’s a lifeline, someone or something worth clinging on to for dear life. It’s scary, in a way.

Noelle stands, suddenly. “This was dumb.” She turns to walk away. “I s-shouldn’t have-”

Susie lurches forward to grab ahold of her wrist without thinking about it. Susie is still sitting, and it’s an awkward position. Noelle turns to look at her, face still tomato red.

“Wait, I’m sorry,” Susie starts. “I- I’m not good with this stuff. I just don’t know what to say,” she admits. She remembers to let go of Noelle’s wrist now, a hot flush of shame rolling over her at just how hard her grip had been.

Noelle sits again, waiting for Susie to finish.

“I don’t know you very well,” she stammers, and Noelle’s face falls, “but, uh, I’d like to. You know. Get to know you,” she continues, sounding stupid even to herself.

But Noelle smiles, just a little, and damn, how come Susie never paid attention to her like this before?

“I would like that. A lot.”


	6. Chapter 6

Seated in between Ralsei and Asriel, Kris is struggling to chew their food with their usual blank expression.

Mom is cheerfully telling an intrigued Ralsei that embarrassing story about the pink headband while their brother alternates between sneaking glances at the phone in his lap and side eyeing Ralsei with they think is suspicion.

A pang of guilt bubbles in their chest. This is not going at all the way they thought it would. Not only have they brought a stranger here for Asriel’s return home, but they hadn’t even considered the pressure it put on Ralsei himself. They don’t think he’s even seen a TV before.

“Whatever happened to those, do you think?” Mom is asking them.

They definitely didn’t ‘accidentally’ leave them behind at school after they’d started to get bullied for wearing them, nope. “Don’t know,” they say. They’re probably still in the old classroom, somewhere.

“Horns aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, Kris.” Asriel says, looking up from his phone. “Now I understand why Dad is always so cautious around doorways.” He chuckles, the first genuine laugh Kris has heard from him all day. “They never make them tall enough.”

Kris takes a moment to appraise Asriel’s horns. If they’ve grown over the time he’s been gone, it hasn’t been by very much. They’re still not as impressive as Dad’s, yet, but they’re getting there.

“They hurt when they first start coming in, too,” Ralsei adds, pleased to have found some common ground.

Asriel nods at Ralsei in agreement. “Yeah. They do.” He looks like he wants to say more, but apparently decides against it.

“Do you have any siblings, Ralsei?” Mom asks, suddenly and forcefully reminding Kris just how little they actually know about him.

A pained expression appears on his face, but he smoothes it into a more pleasant one quickly. “No. It’s just me,” he says quietly, seeming faraway.

“I see,” she responds. She doesn’t press the subject.

“Can we eat the pie now?” Kris asks, hoping to keep the mood from completely souring.

Mom laughs. “I don’t know, can you?”

After dessert is served and eaten, Asriel heads up to the bedroom to unpack, and Kris shows Ralsei around the house. Explaining everything in the bathroom had been a challenge, but at least they had managed to keep Ralsei from eating the shampoo.

The rest of the day is spent leisurely chatting and catching up. Asriel seems determined to ask Ralsei difficult questions that he can’t answer, so Kris ends up glued to his side and running interference all day. They don’t mind it, of course, but even for a well practiced liar like them, it soon becomes tiring to remember the old lies and keep the new ones believable.

In the evening, a new problem arises.

“I’m fine sleeping on the floor, Kris.” Ralsei insists again.

Kris slams their thumb down on the controller again, too late. Their character on screen dies, and Asriel laughs as he bumps them out of the seat. They’ve missed playing video games with their brother; party games are only fun if you have someone to play them with, so Kris hasn’t touched the console after Asriel left.

“Kris and I can share my bed, and you’ll sleep in their bed,” Asriel says cooly. “If we had heads up that there was gonna be another person, we would have gotten an air mattress.”

“An air mattress?”

Asriel cranes his neck around to look at Ralsei, incredulous.

“You died,” Kris informs him.

Instead of interrogating Ralsei about his apparent ignorance of air mattresses, Asriel luckily decides to turn his attention back to the game. “Oops. Guess I should have paused it.”

“It wouldn’t be fair to make you two share a bed in your own room, though.” Ralsei insists, apparently unwilling to drop the subject.

This time Asriel doesn’t take his eyes off the screen. “We’ve shared plenty; we’re used to it. I try not to poke their eyes out with my horns, they try not to kick me too much.” His tone leaves no room for argument. Ralsei seems to realize this.

“I’m gonna get you back for poking holes in my favorite pajama top someday,” they say, though not with very much conviction.

They would have liked to share a bed with Ralsei, but they had known from the start it would be unlikely. They can feel their face heat up a little, but they can play it off as being invested in the game.

“Served you right for putting a rubber snake in my bed,” Asriel shoots back, grinning.

They find themself smiling for once. It’s impossible to deny just how much they’ve missed this stupid banter.

Asriel’s character dies again, so he turns to thrust the controller at Ralsei. “Ralsei, do you want a turn?”

He balks at the prospect of hurting people, even if it’s just pretend hurting on pretend people, but he reluctantly accepts the controller and plays anyway. He’s never touched a video game in his life, so of course he dies almost immediately. “It’s more fun to watch you guys play,” he says.

Asriel gives him a doubtful look, but mercifully lets Ralsei hand the controller to Kris without comment.

* * *

Somewhere around midnight, Toriel comes upstairs to tell them they’d better head to bed, or at least quiet down a touch.

“You three have your sleeping arrangements sorted out?” She asked.

“Kris and I are sharing my bed. Ralsei will take Kris’s,” Asriel had said.

She nodded approvingly, eyes lingering on Ralsei’s with an expression he couldn’t read. It wasn’t completely unfriendly, but there had been something else there, too.

And now he’s curled up in their bed, unsure if he should try and distract himself from the fact that it’s absolutely permeated in their scent, or if he should be reveling in it. He would have rather shared a bed with them, but this is the next best thing.

Their world, filled with light and hope the sky (Oh god, the sky. Kris had been forced to haul him up off his knees when he had first seen it.) is all so overwhelming it was almost impossible to process it all at once. Lying in their bed, he knows he isn’t going to get much sleep tonight.

Apparently, people change colors when they go between the Light and Dark worlds. Here, his fur is a dense coal black, and Kris is mostly tan with a twinge of gold yellow. The first time he saw his reflection here, he had almost started to introduce himself to this stranger.

Kirs had mentioned having a brother, but they didn't bring up the fact he was a goat, like him. It’s ridiculous, but something about that isn’t sitting right with him. It seems like Asriel is bothered by it, too. Asriel had tried to be discreet about it, but he had been staring at his horns off and on throughout the day, too.

He reaches up to touch his own horns. They’ve always been small, but compared to Asriel’s, they’re downright feminine. Until today, it’s never bothered him.

Ralsei had planned on suggesting that he share a bed with Kris, but the way Asriel talked about it left no room for negotiation. The only question is, does it stem from jealousy or protectiveness?

He’s too distracted to sleep. He rolls over, towards the bed Kris is sleeping in. They’re facing away from him, arms wrapped tightly around their brother. It’s hard to tell from here, but it looks like they’ve buried their face in his back. It’s immensely disappointing for some reason.

They’re siblings. He shouldn’t feel jealous.

But he does.

He rolls over to face the other wall, allowing himself a groan of frustration and disappointment. He hadn’t known what to expect when Kris asked him to come to their world. A little too late, he realizes that he had expected to have Kris all to himself the entire time. He bites down another unhappy groan.

And the lying. He hadn’t been prepared at all for the brutal reality that he’s not from this world and really doesn’t belong here. Half of the things Toriel and Asriel had asked him about were things he had never heard of, which left him stuttering until Kris would swoop in with a lie.

It’s almost scary, how quickly and casually they come up with lies.

He puts it all out of his mind for now. He needs to sleep. Even if he doesn’t get much, at least he won’t wake the others with nightmare induced screaming like Susie has done. He’s never had a nightmare so bad he woke screaming; it makes him wonder exactly how bad Susie’s are.

Again, he resolves to put it out of his mind. He does feel a little bad about leaving her, but it’s not like she’s alone; she has Lancer to keep her company at the very least.

Eventually, he’s able to drift asleep. He dreams of falling upwards into the sky, leaving a blue Kris on the ground. He tries to stop and come back down, but he can’t. He falls up and up, past the clouds and into a void of sheer white. He floats in this void and worries that Kris will forget about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are the constant and apparently random POV changes annoying and weird? Probably. Am I doing it anyway? heck yeah.


	7. Chapter 7

When Asriel wakes, his first instinct is to ask Roy what in the hell he’s doing in his bed.

And then he remembers yesterday. That’s Kris clinging on to him like he’s their lifeline. They’d shared the bed because of that Ralsei guy. Right. God, he hasn’t woken up with Kris in his bed in years.

Even facing away from them, he can tell they’re still sleeping deeply; it’s probably quite early in the morning. With all of his morning classes, he’s trained himself to wake up early. His sibling, on the other hand...

His mind keeps going back to Ralsei. Even half asleep and barely awake, his eyes narrow. The kid seems harmless, but nothing about his story is adding up. He had already been at the house when Asriel arrived, but Mom hadn’t seen any vehicle drop him off. He said he’d walked, but he had seemingly just showed up at the house. And that was just barely scratching the surface.

When asked direct questions about things like his major, where he’s from, and his family, he always seems caught off guard and confused until Kris jumps in. His answers are never concrete or certain. He’s always vague and indirect. Sometimes he even sounds downright confused.

He also doesn’t seem to have a single belonging to his name, other than the clothes on his back. He doesn’t even have a  _ cell phone _ . When asked why not, he claimed that he had never needed one. Asriel had forced himself to smile and nod instead of calling bullshit.

Kris is a well practiced liar. When they were children, Asriel had happily used it to his advantage. Now, he realizes he doesn’t appreciate being lied to. He makes a mental note to confront them about it later.

But today he just wants to relax and hang out with Dad. He huffs. Time to start the day.

He’s facing the wall, so he can’t tell if their houseguest is awake or not. The possibility of a stranger he doesn’t quite trust roaming around his house unsupervised doesn’t sit right with him. Kris’s sleep will be just as disturbed either way. After weighing his options, he decides to take the risk and wriggle out of his sibling’s grasp. It’s not as tricky as he thought it would be. They’re sleeping heavily, and they don’t stir at all.

Glancing over at the other bed, he sees Ralsei is still asleep. He’s on his side, facing towards them. His eyes are shut, but he’s twitching fretfully, his face twisted into a deep frown.

Well, at least he’s not up and stealing, or god knows what. 

After grabbing his clothes as quietly as possible, he decides to change in the bathroom. He can take a quick shower, too.

After his shower, he fishes the necklace out of his jeans pocket, where he had stashed it last night. When he was unpacking, he had found Kris’s half in his drawer. Seeing it there had stung a bit, but it made sense that Kris wouldn’t want to wear it any more. 

They had already been called hurtful names when they wore the pink headband; a heart shaped necklace on an unpopular teenager was bound to attract just as much negative attention.If he hadn’t been there to protect them, the bullying had probably escalated.

At least, he hopes that’s why they stopped wearing it. After a moment of thought, he decides to keep wearing his half anyway. He tucks it under his shirt, though.

He pokes his head into their shared bedroom before going back downstairs. Neither one of them have woke or moved. He half expected them to be in the same bed. He grimaces at the mental image and decides not to dwell on it.

In the kitchen, Mom is already up and starting breakfast.

“Good morning,” he yawns at her.

“Oh! You are up early,” she replies, not looking up from her breakfast prep. “Good morning! Did you have any plans for today?”

It looks like she’s making pancakes, so Asriel starts heating up the pan. “Might do something with Dad today.”

“Of course.” There’s no venom in her voice, which he appreciates.

“How long has Kris been friends with this Ralsei guy?” He blurts out.

Mom pours batter into the pan, frowning. “I’m not sure.” She pauses, seeming to be gathering her thoughts. “I am glad to see that Kris is beginning to make more friends, and Ralsei does seem like a nice boy, but…”

She trails off.

“It’s a little strange though, right?” Asriel says, digging through a drawer for a spatula.

“It is,” she agrees. “But he seems like an upstanding young man, and I will reserve judgement until I get to know him properly. Regardless, will you wake them up for me?”

Well. Seems like they’re done discussing it. “Sure.” He hands the spatula to her.

Kris is sleeping heavier than usual, and Asriel ends up shaking them awake. At first he thinks he’s going to have to shake Ralsei awake too, but by the time Kris is awake, he is, too. The other goat blinks in confusion while rubbing at his eyes.

“Do you not have a change of clothes, Ralsei?” Mom asks once everyone is seated at the table and eating.

Despite his dark fur, he’s obviously blushing. “I was in a bit of a hurry when I packed,” he offers weakly.

Asriel locks eyes with Mom for a second, trying to say  _ This is weird  _ without being too obvious.

“Well, I’m sure we have some clothes that will fit you here,” she says.

Kris pipes up, sudden and loud and entirely unlike them. “What’s your roommate like?” They ask him.

And just like that, Asriel finds himself dragged into a conversation about Roy. It’s a little too convenient, and Asriel makes a mental note to confront his sibling sooner rather than later.

“His boyfriend doesn’t come around very often, but he seems like a cool guy,” he finishes.

Ralsei seems to choke on his pancake at the mention of a boyfriend. Asriel has to make an effort to not frown. Is Ralsei homophobic? That would be rather disappointing.

The atmosphere around the table seems heavier, now. “Um. Yes, boyfriend,” Asriel states again. “Why?” He asks, feeling a little wary about starting some kind of moral debate over breakfast. Mom gives him a warning glance, silently urging him not to tread too heavily on the subject.

Kris is wearing the blankest of blank faces.

Ralsei shakes his head fiercely. “Oh, I didn’t - I didn’t mean-” He cuts himself off before trying again. “Um, nevermind,” he says, cheeks reddening.

“Asriel, Kris, help me clear the table,” Mom says, standing up.

“Yes ma’am,” Asriel and Ralsei say in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know it's been a while since updates, and this one is pretty short. Sorry about that. A lack of inspiration and real life being the way it is has really sapped my ability to write, at least for this story. I have an ending and everything in mind for this fic, but it may take a while to get there...
> 
> But also, almost 1k views? Damn. Don't forget I love yall and no this story isn't dead <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry you guys had to wait almost two months for 1k words :')
> 
> I might have missed some typos, so definitely let me know if you see any!

“I’m gonna have dirt under my nails for days,” Asriel whines, completely insincere. He’s actually been looking forward to this. He hasn’t helped his dad garden in years. The dirt is cool in his hands, just like he remembered. He fills another pot with soil. 

It’s therapeutic, in a way. If he concentrates hard enough on the plants and soil, he can almost pretend he’s a kid again, and the worst obligation hanging over him is homework, and he can play fight Kris over who gets to be player one when it’s done.

His father just chuckles at him, the fur on his paws absolutely caked in dirt. “You never used to complain about dirty hands.”

He catches his upper lip wanting to quirk up into a goofy smile before smoothing it back out to more of a smirk. “Well, I’m not a kid anymore. Kids love to be dirty.”

Dad turns to him and gives Asriel the goofy grin he’d just suppressed. It’s almost like looking in a mirror for a second. “You’re right. Children do indeed enjoy playing in the dirt. I seem to recall you being especially attracted to dirt as a child.”

Asriel reaches out, and Dad wordlessly deposits a small handful of seeds into his palm, just like the last time they gardened together. Though the last time Asriel helped his father like this, there had been food in his fridge and a definite lack of letters threatening eviction. 

“Hey, Dad, let’s go for lunch after this, just us.”

 

“You don’t want to invite Kris along?”

An impossible to pin down emotion washes over him, washing over his soul in a slow, slimey way. “I think they’re too busy hanging out with their not-boyfriend,” he says, regretting the words even before they leave his mouth.

Dad’s head whips around so fast it’s almost comical. “Kris has a boyfriend? Since when? I would like to meet this young man.” He stands, trying and failing to mask the pained look on his face as he does so.

Asriel waves his hands in front of himself, sending a few small clumps of loose soil flying. “I mean! They aren’t, like, officially dating, I just think they seem to like each other like that,” he explains hurriedly. Sure, their dad has never been the waiting-at-the-front-door-with-a-shotgun type, but it’s for the better to explain what he meant before things can spiral out of control.

There’s a pause.

“I see,” Dad says finally. He checks the time on his watch before dusting his paws off on his overalls. “Why don’t we get some lunch, and you can tell me about this boy.”

* * *

“Don’t you have to go home?” Susie asks, cringing inwardly at her poor choice of words. Noelle probably thinks she can’t wait for her to leave. Her hand is clasped in her own, and she can feel her palms starting to get sweaty. Hopefully Noelle won’t mind the dampness of her palms. Gross. She can also feel just how damn hot her face is, which somehow manages to make it all worse.

Noelle had taken her hand at some point, and Susie hadn’t been able to let go. Noelle’s soft fur engulfing her own dry, cracked scales…

It’s nice, even if it makes her feel a little inferior. Susie’s never been particularly feminine, not that it ever bothered her much, but lying next to Noelle like this, holding hands with her…

She loses her train of thought. Not that she’s been able to think a whole hell of a lot since Noelle took her hand.

They’ve been laying in this field for probably at least an hour, just talking. It’s surprisingly refreshing. Sure, she’s had Ralsei and Lancer to keep her company and sometimes even Kris to keep her company in the Dark World, but talking to Noelle is different, somehow. Not that there’s  really anything else to do here.

“I may have told my parents I was going to a sleepover at Temmie’s,” Noelle replies, tearing Susie out of her thoughts.

Despite herself, Susie lets out a snort. “Temmie? Really? Isn’t she kind of, you know...” She gestures vaguely with her free hand.There’s really no way to describe Temmie as anything other than, well,  _ Temmie. _

Susie can tell Noelle is fidgeting uncomfortably without even looking at her. “W-well, it’s basically impossible to get a straight answer out of her, so I figured…”

“Yeah, that’s a pretty solid plan.”

Silence.

Wait. She’s staying over? Oh, god, that’s even more terrifying than holding her hand. A brief but too vivid to ignore image of the two sharing a bed pops into her mind, making her blush hard enough she can feel it.

Sharing a bed with Noelle - is that really what she wants? Or is her brain just taunting her? Come to think of it, she’s never had a boyfriend, let alone even  _ noticed _ boys. Oh fuck, is she-?

“It’s really beautiful here. I’ve never even heard of purple grass before,” Noelle gushes, apparently blissfully unaware of Susie’s inner turmoil.

“Y-yeah, it’s like all the colors here are warped, or something,” she responds, probably sounding stupid. “Have you ever had a boyfriend before?” She blurts out.

Immediately, she curses herself and her stupid brain for letting that bit of idiotcy through.

“O-oh, I mean, I had one in - I think it was ninth grade - b-but we broke up after a week.”

“Why?” If she hadn’t blurted out that stupid question in the first place, Susie would be proud of how even her voice is. She sort of wants to ask who she dated, too, but it’s not like it’s important now.

“He said he wanted to date the mayor’s daughter just to prove he could.”

“What a punk-ass bitch,” Susie snaps out. Who the hell says that kind of thing?

Noelle laughs, surprising her. “Yeah, it was a pretty mean thing to say. I stopped caring about dating just for the sake of dating after that, to be honest.”

Noelle squeezes her hand again.

Susie’s face flushes even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🧡 🧡 🧡


	9. Chapter 9

Kris takes a half step away from Ralsei’s side, hoping he won’t be offended. Asriel and Dad are pulling into the driveway, faces betraying...something, Kris can’t quite place it even though they can see it on their faces as far away as the house.

Even from the porch, Kris can just tell they’ve been talking about Ralsei. They’re starting to think they’ve made a mistake bringing him here. They don’t let it show on their face, though. Ralsei is still standing beside them.

They really want to spend more one-on-one time with him, though.

Asriel rolls his window down. “Hey, Kris, Ralsei,” he calls, poking his head out the window and nearly scraping his horns against the top.

Kris tilts their head in his direction. Ralsei waves shyly.

“Get in!” Asriel says, waving them closer.

Kris obliges, Ralsei trailing behind. “There isn’t enough room for four people,” they point out.

Asriel throws open the door and hops out. “You and I can ride in the bed of the truck, you know, like we used to.”

Ralsei frowns. “Is- is that safe?”

“Of course it is! And I already texted Mom on the way, so we’re good to go!” Asriel beams, and it looks like their fate has been sealed.

It’s impossible to talk in the back of a moving truck, so Kris kills time by pretending to look at their phone the entire way to the diner. If they didn’t know any better, they might buy their brother’s pretense of trying to be polite to their guest.

But they do know better. Asriel obviously still doesn’t like or trust Ralsei, and this is all an excuse to get him alone with Dad so Kris can’t answer questions for him.

They’ve really fucked up. This is usually the part of the lie where they would come clean (partially, anyway) and at least give out  _ some _ of the truth.

But how are they supposed to just tell everyone there’s a whole other world in their school? They can see Mom’s disapproving face now.

_ You are too old to be playing make believe, Kris, _ she’d say.  _ You need to tell the truth. _

Funny. The one time they want nothing more than to tell the truth is the one time where nobody would believe it. Maybe that’s karma for all the lying. Though, really, what kind of karma would it be to bring Ralsei into this mess? It’s not like he’s done anything other than let Kris lead him along.

Of course - and Kris hates that they’re thinking this - it’s not like Dad has ever had much of a spine. Even if he doesn’t like Ralsei, it’s not like he’d try to make Mom send him away. They hope.

Maybe it’s just them projecting, but Asriel looks anxious, smoothing over the same non existent wrinkled spot in his pant leg over and over again. He seems to notice Kris watching him, and gives them a, for him, reserved smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. It strikes them that this is the same expression stuffed animals are forced to wear. Kris tries to remember the last time they saw him smile like that and finds they can’t. It’s wrong, seeing that kind of smile from their brother aimed at them.

Asriel isn’t even trying to be slick about this. What other way to split them up and ensure that someone can question Ralsei without Kris being available to intervene and concoct convenient lies on the fly? It’s the kind of stunt Kris used to help their brother pull, and having it turned around on them, well, they’re growing increasingly regretful of their tendency to lie.

Their phone informs them it hasn’t been more than fifteen minutes, but it feels like ages for them to reach the diner. As soon as the truck slows down enough, Kris jumps out over the side, wanting to get to Ralsei as fast as humanly possible.

The front passenger door opens. “-nds lovely!” Ralsei is finishing as he carefully climbs out of the truck. He’s doing a good job at smiling, but Kris can tell he’s tense, and Dad probably can, too.

Kris saunters up beside him as casually as they can muster, stopping just short of touching him. Really, all they want is to be close to him, maybe even close enough for that soft looking fur to just gently brush against their skin-

“Kris?” Dad asks, cutting through all the images beginning to stir in the human’s mind with a jolt at the same time Asriel calls, “Uh, Ralsei?”

Asriel and Dad have both already managed to reach the diner’s frosted glass door, while Kris and Ralsei have been awkwardly standing by the truck, staring at each other. Smooth.

“O-oh,” Ralsei startles. “Right,” he says, smile slipping for only a half second. Luckily he has the sense to avoid eye contact with Kris as they both hurry to the door.

“Did you not sleep well last night, Kris?” Dad asks as the group enters, subtle as a brick to the face.

“Asriel kicks,” they lie, a little too fast.

They reach what used to be their regular booth, Dad and Asriel both taking opposite sides immediately, and Kris wonders if that’s intentional.

“Then let’s sit on the same side of the table so I don’t kick you,” Asriel grins at them.

Well, they definitely walked into that one.

* * *

 

Ralsei wakes up to see Kris looming over them.

“You have to leave,” they say, face blank and voice flat.

“What?” Ralsei asks, blinking tears or either tiredness or a forgotten nightmare out of his eyes.

“You need to go,” Asriel says, also standing over him. His horns somehow look sharper, deadly, even. Has he always been this intimidating?

“Bu-”

“You can’t stay here,” Asgore booms, standing in the doorway. His horns are almost as tall as Ralsei, and they scrape against the ceiling as he walks closer.

“You’re not one of us,” the three say in unison.

Ralsei turns his head to look at Kris and beg them to reconsider and let him stay, but the words die in his throat when he sees that Kris has sprouted horns already, and he watches, paralyzed, as they grow, taller and taller, until they’re taller than the human they belong on, turning and curling in as they reach the ceiling, and before he can even move there’s nothing but him and the horns.

Ralsei wakes again, sighs, and stares up at the horn-free ceiling. It seems like he has nightmares every night in the Lightner’s world, and it’s getting old, fast.

He doesn’t even have to turn and check to know that Asriel and Kris are still in their bed, deep asleep. Letting out a small huff, he throws the blanket off him and tentatively stands. He’s pretty sure he’s not supposed leave the room after bedtime, but there’s no point staying in bed if he can’t sleep.

In the Dark world, time really doesn’t mean anything; there’s not really any kind of sun or sky or, well, light, so everyone keeps their own hours. Ralsei’s always relied on his bodyclock, but here? It’s a crapshoot at best.

So he gets up, taking care to be quiet as possible so he doesn’t wake Kris and Asriel. Luckily, being a goat, his night vision is excellent.

He creeps downstairs and is standing on outside before he even realizes he’s going there, pale moonlight lighting his fur silver. It’s pretty. Tiny shining bugs - Kris called them fireflies - dance lazily, floating gently in the warm haze of the night. It’s all very serene.

Ralsei can’t shake the nagging feeling that he doesn’t belong here.

“It’s beautiful out here tonight, is it not?”

Ralsei jumps. He apparently let himself zone out so bad he didn’t hear Toriel approach.

“It is,” he agrees.

She moves to lean against the railing, watching the fireflies dance.

“You met Asgore today, correct?”

Despite the humid warmth in the air, he shivers, just a little. “Yes ma’am.”

For a painfully tense moment, the other goat doesn’t respond. And then she sighs, sounding older and more tired than she probably should.

“There is no reason to be so nervous around us,” she says.

“I’m n-not, I’m just-”

There’s something disarming about this woman.

“I just feel like I don’t belong here,” he says, and it’s not really a lie, is it?

Toriel hums to herself, thoughtful.

“Kris didn’t tell me their family were all goats,” he continues, her silence seemingly tearing the words out of his mouth.

“Well, it’s not terribly surprising, I suppose,” she murmurs, more to herself than Ralsei.

“What’s not?” he asks, lost.

Toriel shakes her head. “It is nothing. It’s late. You should go back to bed,” she says in a tone that, while gentle, also leaves no room for argument. She reaches over to pat him on the back. “If Kris wants you here, then you belong, Ralsei,” she tells him, so sincere it’s almost tangible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly unedited -- I may come back and edit later.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the first bit at the beginning should have been in the last chapter but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Ralsei creeps back to the room he’s been sharing with Kris and Asriel, closing the door gently behind him.

He can’t help looking to Kris, whose face is nestled into their brother’s back, arms wrapped around him like they’re afraid he’ll float away if they don’t hold on to him. Ralsei’s chest hurts, and it aches more when he realizes he desperately wants to see their face. He wants to hold them, be held by them. He wants to nuzzle into their neck, he wants-

Asriel’s head turns to face him, slowly, and Ralsei flinches back, like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be red handed.

“I-” he sputters, tongue caught and throat dry.

“ _Shh._ _Go to bed_ ,” Asriel whispers, eyes narrowing (how long has he been awake?) with far too much intensity for the situation.

Ralsei realises his mouth his still hanging open, shuts it, and meekly hurries to the other bed, nearly tripping over his own feet in his rush. He just wanted to see Kris, but then he was being weird about it, and why did getting to see Kris matter so much, all of a sudden? And why does it feel like he might wither away and die without them?

And when did Ralsei start needing Kris?

These new thoughts, and Asgore’s words from earlier today thrum in his head, chirping like insects, buzzing and swarming, so he lays in bed until morning, chest heavy and head swirling with too many thoughts.

He hopes Susie has been faring better than him.

* * *

 

“I don’t think your family likes me very much,” Ralsei is finishing just as Asriel enters the shared bedroom. The frustration on his face is immediately apparent upon seeing Asriel, but it’s gone in a flash, replaced by a slight frown.

“Hey,” Asriel greets, deciding to pretend he didn’t hear the other goat talking shit. He wants to feel guilty about his open distrust, but something about him just feels  _ off. _ His parents might think he’s being silly or over protective, but Ralsei acts like an alien sometimes, completely unaware of, well, almost everything. He has no last name, doesn’t have a cell phone, had no idea how to use a computer - how did he even meet Kris?

But Mom did tell him to try being a little nicer, he hasn’t done anything wrong, are you sure you’re not just a little bit jealous, Asriel? Dad told him the boy seemed a little strange, and a bit shy, but overall appeared to be, hopefully, a positive influence for Kris.

Despite that, he still doesn’t want to leave them together unsupervised. He can’t help it; even if Ralsei isn’t running some kind of scam or going to steal from them, Kris has never dated before (they can claim it’s not romantic all they want, but for once in their life, they’re not being a very convincing liar), and Asriel would prefer they not start with a secretive potential lunatic.

He shoves all this to the back of his mind and takes a seat on his bed, watching Kris try to teach Ralsei how to play a farming sim - the least violent game in their collection, and, in Asriel’s opinion, the most boring.

“No, X,” they say as Ralsei looks down and checks the controller again.

“How did you guys even meet, anyway?” Asriel blurts out. He’s not usually this blunt, but damn, why didn’t he think to ask this earlier? It should have been obvious.

Kris stands abruptly, letting the game controller fall out of their hands.

“Kris?” Asriel and Ralsei ask in unison.

“Where’s Mom?” Stiffly, Kris shuts the game console off. Ralsei looks relieved.

“Still on the phone with Father Alvin. Why?”

They lift their shoulders just the tiniest bit, their version of a shrug. “Let’s go to the school.”

“Huh?” Ralsei asks, frowning in confusion.

Asriel crosses his arms, unable to keep a pleasant expression on his face. “What, you want to break in? No, Kris.”

“But-”

“You can’t keep getting into trouble all the time. At least, if you do, I’m not going to help you like I used to. You need to start taking your life more seriously-”

Ralsei tentatively starts. “Um, I think maybe-”

Asriel launches himself up off the bed, towering over Ralsei in an instant. “This isn’t any of your business,” he growls before turning to Kris. “You do realize that Susie was last seen snooping around the school after hours, right? And now she’s  _ gone, _ Kris. She’s probably dead.”

Ralsei raises a finger and opens his mouth before emitting an honest to god squeak.

“There’s something you need to see at the school,” Kris insists. “We’re not gonna get in trouble and nobody’s gonna mess with us,” they add, pleading. “You just need to see it,” they say, voice cracking the slightest bit.

It’s been a while since Kris has said this much all at once. Their voice hasn’t cracked in years, either. Asriel sighs, defeated.

“Alright, fine, you guys are probably going to go anyway without me.” He crosses his arms. “But you both listen to me, we don’t split up, and this better be important, Kris. If this is some kind of joke-”

“You’re gonna tell Mom on me?”

Asriel smirks. “Yup.”

Twenty or so minutes later, the three arrive at the school. A wave of bittersweet nostalgia washes over Asriel. He never thought he’d miss this place.

“You do realize all three if us are gonna be in trouble if Mom finds out,” he says, boosting Ralsei up into the window slightly more roughly than necessary.

“She won’t,” Kris assures, already in.

“I wonder…” Ralsei starts, then trails off.

“You wonder what?” Asriel prompts, carefully climbing in the window headfirst, careful not to catch his horns on the screen.

“Um, nothing.”

“She’s fine. They both are,” Kris states plainly but firmly.

“Who? Who’s fine?” Asriel asks, lost and just a little irritated at the secrecy.

“You’ll see,” Kris says, speeding towards the seemingly average closet.

“Slow down,” Asriel chides as he and Ralsei struggle to keep up.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Kris?” Ralsei asks in between light pants.

Asriel opens his mouth, intending to ask Ralsei exactly how out of shape is he when the sensation of falling hits him.

He gasps, Ralsei screams, and Kris is silent.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the new tags, fam. Pretty light so far, but it's there now.

When Susie was younger, she used to spend a lot of time at the library, hiding from her father and putting off her inevitable return to the cramped, dirty trailer she called home. She would randomly select a book from the fantasy section and read as much as she could before the library was about to close and she was gently but firmly encouraged to leave by a librarian who promised the book would be there for her to finish tomorrow.

Her favorite book was a novel about a young woman who left her foster parents at a young age to become a sword fighter. The first time she had read it in the library, devouring it all in one sitting, she had found her cheeks heating when she got to the part where the heroine realized her feelings for her best friend and kissed her.

According to her father, women didn’t marry women and men didn’t marry men. And two people of the same sex defenity never kissed, or professed their undying love for one another. Two girls weren’t supposed to hold hands in a field and blush when their eyes met.

Of course, grass isn’t supposed to be purple. But there it is.

Her father went of those tirades often. It was wrong. Unnatural, even. Susie didn’t understand, but she never dared ask. She simply nodded her head, praying he was done with his rant and would leave her alone after he finished.

But when eight-year-old Susie first read that book, and every other time she came back to it, something about that kiss, or maybe the way the heroine felt complete in the embrace, made her heart flutter terribly, and her chest always ached with some unknown emptiness.

After letting Noelle’s hand slip free from her own, Susie is starting to understand that emptiness. They walk back to the castle is silence, occasionally meeting each other’s eyes before turning away, both girls lost in their own thoughts.

Susie shows her one of the spare rooms. She and Ralsei knocked down the cobwebs and swept the thick layer of dust off the floor, but hadn’t seen the point in washing bedding for a room no one was using - it’d just get dusty again and defeat the point, Susie had argued.

“Um, I can get some food started if you want to take care of the dust on this bed, trust me, you don’t wanna breathe-”

Noelle stops her in her tracks with a small but somehow dazzling smile, rendering Susie incapable of finishing her sentence. “G- Go start dinner!” She waves her hand. “I know how to get a room ready to sleep in, dust and all,” she assures.

Susie stares at her for just a second too long before quickly turning on her heel and forcing her legs to move away, feeling rubbery. “Yup! Just come to the kitchen when you’re ready!”

She speeds away, towards the once royal kitchen, mind enveloped in a fog so thick she wants to throw her arms out in front of her and wave it away.

She decides to make the rest of the mac ‘n’ cheese, putting a pot of water to boil and losing herself in her thoughts.

She’s barely met Noelle and she’s already too invested, obviously feeling something more than feelings of friendship to her - not that she’s terribly experienced in friendship, but the way she feels when Noelle looks at her, well, it’s not anything she feels when Ralsei smiles at her or Kris gives her an impressed look, though she supposes Kris isn’t either gender and they don’t really factor into this inner turmoil of hers.

Still.

Girls aren’t supposed to want to kiss other girls. Girls aren’t supposed to run away from home, either, and they’re supposed to be sweet and soft and open, big round eyes that could make a person melt-

All the things she isn’t, and all the things Noelle is.

Interesting.

She stares at her reflection in the water. She’s hard and cold and closed off, her yellow eyes seemingly naturally narrowed, distrusting. She’s not soft or welcoming or anything she should be. She’s all angles and teeth and bitterness, with a promise of danger should you piss her off.

She realizes that she’s looking into the face of someone unworthy, unloveable. And this is what she looks like after she decided to make an effort to be nicer.

She shakes her head lightly, trying to dislodge the thought, but it sticks. She jumps when she hears Kris’s voice behind her.

“-you so,” they finished, and when Susie whirles around she’s face to face with not just Kris and Ralsei, but Asriel, too. He looks stunned beyond words, mouth open and eyes wide, gaping at her.

“We didn’t mean to startle you, Susie,” Ralsei apologizes sheepishly, as if that’s the problem here.

“You should have called ahead,” she says sarcastically, turning back to the stove and waving her arm behind her like she’s cool and laid back. Hopefully she’s masked the swarm of bullshit plaguing her brain. “I’ve only got enough here for me an’ Noelle, so you’re gonna have to find your own food.”

“Susie?” Asriel asks, apparently finally recovered enough to speak. “You’ve- you’ve been here the whole time?  _ Everyone- _ ”

“-thinks I’m dead, I know. I don’t care.”

Asriel again recovers distressingly fast, and Susie can hear him march closer to her. It brings back a bad memory, her standing over the stove while someone angrily steps towards her, and she forcefully keeps her body relaxed and artificially lazy.  


“You don’t just- you can’t-” Asriel sputters for a second, then cuts himself off and takes another step closer. “You can’t just-”

He’s too close to her. The unwanted memory surges forward, and she can’t dispel it. She whirls around, fast, barely resisting the urge to materialize her ax. Oh, what she would have done for a way to defend herself all those times before, in that shitty little trailer.

“I can’t  _ what? _ ” She challenges, looking him in the eye. She might be above drawing her weapon, but she doesn’t refrain from baring her teeth. Her and Asriel are roughly the same height, his horns adding only about an inch more than her. Goats might have sharp teeth in the back, but  _ all _ of hers are sharp fangs, and-

-and she shouldn’t be thinking like this, cold and tactical, but her brain does it anyway.

To his credit, he doesn’t flinch back or blink. “You can’t just run away and scare everyone,” he says, low and even, putting on a brave front, even though she can tell he’s a little intimidated and he knows she knows.

They hold each other’s gaze for a tense moment, Kris frowning slightly more than usual and Ralsei wringing his hands with anxiety in her peripheral vision. Susie learned from a young age to never back down from a challenge, or else you’d be weak, easy pickings, and it pisses her off that Asriel takes so long to take a step back.  


She exhales a frustrated snort, both an acknowledgement and threat.

“I have a right to not want the shit beaten out of me on a regular basis,” she growls. His eyes somehow widen even more, but before he can respond or question her, Susie jerks her thumb towards Kris. “What made you bring him here?”

“He needed to see,” they say plainly, unphased by the aggression from before. “He wouldn’t have believed it if I just told him.”

Asriel turns to look at his sibling, and Susie takes the opportunity to fully disengage without seeming weak, turning back to her cooking and dumping the noodles into the boiling water.

“I still don’t have any clue what any of this is,” Asriel admits, “but I’m glad to know that you’re safe, Susie.”

“Safer than I’ve ever been,” she deadpans at her noodles. It’s something she would have never said directly to anyone’s face, but it feels safer when her back is turned and she’s looking at a pot of boiling noodles that feel strangely important. Wow, if she keeps this up, she might actually open up to someone like Ralsei’s been wanting her too. Scary.

She doesn’t need to see his face to tell that Asriel is taken off guard by this, and she can practically  _ hear _ the awful realization that he has when he actually processes what she just heavily implied. She’s glad she doesn’t have to see any more pointless pity directed at her.

“Good,” he says, way too delicately after an obvious pause. They’ve never spent enough time together to get to know each other fully with him being older, but that’s always been something she’s never liked about him. He’s never been able to be blunt and speak his mind. “It’s also good to know that Ralsei acts strangely because he’s from a place without electricity and not because he’s some sort of scam artist,” he adds, mercifully changing topics to discussing someone that isn’t her.

“You don’t have to talk about him like he’s not in the room with us,” Kris says in a rare show of overt irritation. Damn, they’ve got it bad for the goat, Susie notes to herself.

Of course she’s always known that they aren’t emotionless or anything like that, but they’re usually so good at hiding it all. Susie can just feel the tension, even with her back turned. Why did Kris think their plan was a good one?

“H-” Ralsei opens his mouth to speak, but Kris cuts him off.

“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have tried to lie about the Dark world. I should have just brought you here and introduced you two instead of trying to lie my way through.”

Susie can’t stop herself. “God, what is this, a group therapy session?”

She had been in group therapy a few times. She only spoke when forced to, and said as little as possible when she did.

The sound of chairs scraping against the floor fill the room as everyone settles in. “You said Noelle is here, Susie?” Asriel asks, apparently deciding not to comment on her last statement.

“Oh, yeah, Kris showed her the way and she’s been, uh, visiting off and on. She said she told her parents that she’s having a sleepover.”

“Ah,” Asriel says, neutral. “We probably shouldn’t stay too long,” he continues, “because I’m shocked that everyone has been able to get in and out of school so easily after Susie’s disappearance.”

The statement feels loaded, but she pushes it aside and focuses on the almost done cooking.

“Nobody else has gone missing, and there’s no evidence that the school was really involved, so they probably don’t care anymore,” Kris says casually.

Asriel just hmm’s.

“I’m gonna let Noelle know the food’s ready,” Susie announces, turning off the burner and setting a lid on the pot before speeding away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was a pretty heavy Susie chapter. Don't worry, there'll be more on Asriel's reactions to the Dark world later. :)


	12. Chapter 12

Asriel stands up abruptly, overwhelmed.  According to his phone, they’ve been here around an hour and a half, and while the conversation has been enlightening, (to say the least) he’s getting antsy. “This has been nice and all, but I think we need to get back home soon. Where we belong.” He considers making a comment about not wanting to worry people, then decides that potentially getting into a fist fight with Susie would be a bad idea. Instead, he gives Ralsei a pointed look. “Are you coming back with us?”

Ralsei rises quickly, nearly falling over his robes in his haste. “Of course!”

Asriel narrows his eyes. Did Ralsei not catch the hint or did he simply choose to ignore it? “It was nice talking to you, Noelle,” he nods at her stoically. “And Susie-”

“Still not going back,” she cuts him off, glowering.

“You’re always welcome at our house,” he says over her, ignoring her protest.   


He wants to say more to her - _If you’re being beaten, why not go to the police? Why did you never say anything?_ _How is anyone supposed to help you if you keep it all to yourself?_

He keeps his mouth shut, though, and makes a mental note to talk to Mom later. Even if he has to dance around the subject, she’ll probably have some useful input.

Kris stands, looking reluctant, and Asriel moves for the door. This trip isn’t even over yet and he’s got a lot of new worries and anxieties weighing on his mind.

Everyone says their goodbyes before the group leaves the girls behind.

“I hope Noelle doesn’t get in trouble for being here too long,” Ralsei says to no one in particular.

“Everyone is just lucky to not be trapped in the wrong place,” Asriel points out. “If the school had tighter security-”

He cuts himself off and turns to look at Kris.

“And why on Earth are you blue? Actually, now that I think about it, nobody is the right color,” he muses aloud to himself. It’s been bugging him ever since he came here, but it’s been pretty low on the priority list since discovering that there’s a whole other world somehow locked away in his school. And then finding Susie alive, a different color sure, but, but looking healthier than he can ever recall seeing her.

She changed up her hairstyle, too.  _ Oh god, what if she was covering up a black eye or something? _

“The real question is, why didn’t you change colors?” Ralsei asks, and Asriel finds his irritation with the other goat somehow rising even higher than before.   


He wants to  _ do _ something to him- yell at him, ask him what the hell kind of game he’s playing, ask him what he’s hiding, but he can’t, not with Kris around, so he settles for a heavy sigh and gently clenched fist.

“It’s weird,” Kris agrees, “everyone but you changes colors between the worlds. I wonder why.”

“You guys are really okay with just letting Susie…” he trails off for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “You’re really okay with just letting her go off the radar and letting everyone think she’s probably dead?”

Kris and Ralsei look at each other, and then back at him. Something about it sets him on edge, like they’re having a conversation he’s not included in. He levels an openly hostile look at Ralsei just long enough to hopefully get the point across.

“She does seem happier here,” Kris states carefully, and Asriel is pretty sure he’s the only one who can detect the hesitation in their voice.

“It- it seems like she’s been trying to avoid something in your world,” Ralsei says, gently wringing his hands. “Um, she used to have nightmares a lot when she was first staying here.”

“I don’t know how anyone is supposed to help her if she keeps all her problems to herself,” he counters, the words sounding harsh even to him.

Now that he thinks about it, Susie never seemed like a particularly happy or stable person. She always blended into the background, someone weird and slightly creepy that was best avoided.

...Oh God, she had been hurting for years and everyone simply ignored her because she wasn’t cute or nice, and yeah she was a bit of a bully from what he remembers-

A wave of guilty nausea washes over him. Of course she was a bully. Of course she’s always been the type to keep to herself and watch from afar, distrustful and wary of others. All this time, Susie’s been suffering, and everyone, including himself, just ignored her. Hell, he’s pretty sure he told Kris to avoid her at one point.

Asriel doesn’t let it show, though. Instead, he says, “We’re going to talk about all of this after dinner. But right now I just want to focus on getting home without getting in trouble.”

“I think…” Kris starts, trails off.

“You think what?” Asriel and Ralsei ask at the same time.

Kris gives their head the slightest shake. “Nothing.”

For a while, nobody speaks as they make the trek back home. It’s quiet, eerily so, in this so called Dark world, and it sets Asriel on edge. It still doesn’t feel quite real, like a particularly strange fever dream fueled with copious amounts of Nyquill.

“I would have liked to visit with Susie and Noelle a little longer,” Ralsei admits apropos of nothing.

“Noelle will probably be back in town sometime tomorrow,” Kris tells him, turning around to actually look the other goat in the eyes, like they’re having a conversation without him.

It shouldn’t piss Asriel off, but it does.

And isn’t that concerning?

* * *

“Make sure to latch that and lock the door on your way out,” Asriel tells Kris.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Actually, why didn’t we come through the door in the first place?"

“Cameras,” Kris states matter of factly.

“Wait-”

“I know all the blind spots.”

“Where in the hell did you learn that?” Asriel demands, eyes widening.

He doesn’t get an answer, though, because Kris shuts the window without responding.

Which leaves Ralsei alone with Asriel, waiting for Kris to come back. Hopefully he’ll be less hostile now that he knows the truth.

Asriel leans with his back against the building, and Ralsei kicks at the ground awkwardly. He’d forgotten how comfortable his robes are compared to his clothes in the Light world, a pair of jeans and a too-tight feeling plain green shirt.

“So, um, what did you think of the Dark world?” he tries. Maybe they can be friends now.

Asriel looks down at him, arms crossed, expression stern but maybe less unfriendly. “I’m going to need some time to process what happened today.”

Ralsei blinks, and Asriel charges on before he can get a word in. “How long are you going to stay here?”   


“Um, I was going to stay until the end of the...what was it called? The break?”

Asriel shuts his eyes tightly, stiffening, and Ralsei finds himself taking a pre-emptive step back. “So you’re gonna be here the whole time.” Asriel lets out a harsh breath, opening his eyes. “Cool,” he tacks on, probably trying to sound genuine but failing miserably.

Ralsei kind of wants to offer to leave, but then Kris walks into view, and he’s violently reminded of why he absolutely  _ needs _ to stay as long as he can. Not that Kris doesn’t visit enough, but…

“You locked the door behind you?” Asriel asks, pushing himself up off the wall. Kris nods. “Great. Let’s hurry home before Mom starts wondering where we’re at.”

They stop for hot chocolate on the way home on Kris’s behest, and the waitress winks at him as she sets the steaming mug down at the table. “Don’t take it too fast now, y’hear?” She gives Kris a knowing smile over her shoulder as she walks away.

“Ugh,” Asriel groans into his own mug.

* * *

When they end up back at the house, Asriel waves Kris and Raslei off dismissively, pointedly avoiding eye contact. “You two go upstairs and play video games or whatever.” He starts heading for the living room where Mom is still on the phone. “I need to think.”

For a second, Kris is confused, and then it clicks: it’s an apology. Since when did their big brother get too cool for apologies? Nevertheless, it’s a blessing, so they nod and grab Ralsei’s wrist, gently but firmly start hauling him upstairs.

“Leave the door open,” Asriel adds, not bothering to look back.

“We will,” Kris promises.

They leave the door half-way open and regrettably let go of Ralsei’s wrist. Their heart is starting to pound harder, suddenly.

Ralsei doesn’t say anything, simply sitting on his borrowed bed, and Kris follows. They sit next to him, too close but not close enough, and Ralsei’s eyes widen when he realizes that they’re almost touching.

“Are you…” Kris pauses, collecting their thoughts. Ralsei waits patiently, a twinge of rose appearing across his muzzle. “Are you okay?” Kris finally manages, unsure when they last asked that question.

Ralsei looks away. “It’s just been a lot. The, um, Light world, I mean. I didn’t- I didn’t think it would be this different, this har-”

“I said door,  _ open, _ ” Asriel half-shouts, the sound of the door squeaking as he opens it fully. He looks unimpressed with the situation, but doesn’t comment.

Ralsei jumps and Kris frowns at their brother. “It was open,” they argue. Of course Asriel is right, but Kris has always known exactly how hard they can push until they get in trouble.

“Half open doesn’t count, Kris,” Asriel replies, turning on his heel and clomping back downstairs.

At least he left fairly quickly.

Ralsei slumps against them, resting his head on their shoulder, and they exhale a little too hard.

“And that,” Ralsei mumbles.

“I think he’s trying to be nicer,” they say, slowly, as if speaking too fast might startle Ralsei right off their shoulder.

“I guess.”

Ralsei lifts his head, and Kris turns to look at him. The pink on his cheeks is brighter, now, and it makes their face feel hot, too. But Ralsei looks them in the eye, and they can’t flinch away.

They both speak at the same time.

“Do you think-”

“Maybe we-”

They both stop, flustered, and then Ralsei leans in, or maybe it’s Kris, but their lips connect, just long enough for Kris to taste chocolate. They lay their hand on Ralsei’s just as the goat pulls away.

“I’ve been, ah, waiting for you to do that,” Ralsei half whispers into his lap.

Their breath hitches, and it takes a moment to sputter out their question. “Really?”

Ralsei looks up at them again, smiling. “Yeah.”

Their mouth is dry. “Do you want to do it again?”

Ralsei gives a shy smile before leaning back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OwO


	13. Chapter 13

Susie can’t fall asleep. Every time she closes her eyes, unwanted memories decide they need to be re-lived, things that happened a long time ago gravitating to the front of her mind. She sits up, and has the mundane realization that it’s time for a haircut when she has to brush it out of her eyes.

The present feels so far away. The past is lurking too close, like a blood thirsty mosquito, but it’s impossible to swat away.

She tries closing her eyes again, only to be met with the image of her mother’s wide-eyed, glazed over stare. “Fine!” she half yelps, half growls aloud to herself, throwing the covers aside and hastily clambering out of the bed as if it’s bit her.

Usually, when her mind is conspiring against her like this, she’d sneak some booze from her father’s stash and drink until either the alcohol was gone or she had passed out. Of course, Ralsei doesn’t keep booze stocked in the castle. He probably doesn’t even know what alcohol is. Whatever. She doesn’t miss getting hungover anyway.

Asriel’s words from before dance in her head. She makes her way to the kitchen and wonders, not for the first time, if she’s made a mistake in running away.

There’s no way he could have meant it, though. Asriel, Ralsei, and Kris may live in their own happy little fantasy worlds, but the truth was beaten into her at a young age - literally. There’s never been room for her, and her parents made damn sure she knew it.

Hell, up until she was seven, she had thought birthday parties were only something that happened on TV.

Whatever. The past doesn’t matter, she reminds herself. Groggily, she makes her way to the kitchen. Sleep is overrated, anyway.

“Oh, you couldn’t sleep either?”

Noelle’s already in the kitchen, cleaning an already-spotless stove. Strange.

“No,” she admits. She could  _ really _ go for a drink or a cigarette right now, is what she wants to say, but she keeps that thought to herself.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” She blurts the question out, and it feels like she’s swallowed ice. She didn’t mean to ask that, there’s no going back from it-

“What do you mean?” Noelle stops scrubbing and cocks her head to look at Susie, voice soft and eyes all concern and worry.

Susie leans against the doorway, trying and probably failing to look calm and chill. “Um, you know,” she starts, crossing and uncrossing her arms, “like, do you think… do you think me running away here was a mistake?”

Noelle just stares at her, obviously trying to formulate a gentle reply. God, she’s always so gentle - gentle, but defiant, like a fancy piece of china that refuses to stay locked away in the cupboard. Susie finds she likes it.

“I don’t know,” Noelle admits, looking back at her cleaning rag. “I can’t- I don’t know what you were running from, so I can’t really say. But, um, if it wasn’t for my dad, I might consider staying here. I mean, Mother pretty much ignores me, but…” she trails off, shakes her head. “but she’s  _ really _ busy, so I understand.”

There’s an awkward silence, and then Susie realizes it’s her turn to speak. “That stove seems like it’s already pretty clean,” she says, because what else can she say? That her mother died when she was young - she still doesn’t know how - and that she only wishes her surviving parent would ignore her?

Noelle continues contemplating the rag and Susie makes a show of inspecting her claws, because she knows she can’t look Noelle in the eye right now.

“I guess I didn’t really answer your question, huh?”

Feeling more composed, Susie shrugs, crossing her arms again. “Eh. I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway,” she says, feeling like an ass the moment the words leave her mouth. She pushes on anyway. “Asriel said I could like, go live with them, but…”

“But?” Noelle prompts.

“I’ve been gone for a while now, right? So like, if I just suddenly appear again-”

“It’s gonna be a lot of attention don’t want.”

“Yeah.”

The word hangs in the air, and something lurches in Susie’s stomach. Her legs buckle out from under her, and she finds herself sliding down against the wall until her ass hits the floor. She curls in on herself.

Naturally, Noelle stops pretending the clean and jumps to her side in an instant. “Susie! Are you alright?” Her voice strains with worry, and Susie’s almost sure she’s never felt worse in her life.

Her eyes sting, and it’s only until something wet drops onto her lap that she realizes she’s started to cry. God, she can just hear her father calling her a fucking embarrasment right now. It’s extra pathetic that she’s crying, because she hasn’t even been beaten.

She tries to talk, tell Noelle she’s okay and not to worry, but the words choke in her throat, and she finds, to her utter horror, the only sounds she can produce are sobs. And Noelle makes it worse by sitting down next to her, probably getting her skirt dirty, and simply putting her hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t even,” Susie eventually manages to gasp between sobs, “know why I’m crying.”

And that’s the worst part. No build up, no warning. She just burst into tears. Susie has the dull realization that she hasn’t cried in a long time.

“You don’t have to go back,” Noelle says, low and delicate, “but, um, if you want to, I- I can come with you. You...you don’t have to go back by yourself.”

Susie desperately wants to hug her, or say thank you, or anything, really, but she can’t. Instead, she sniffles again, thankfully on the downward swing of her crying fit.

“Um,” Noelle tries again, “if- if you want, we can go straight to the Dreemurr’s house and, um, nobody else will even have to know you’re back.”

It’s impractical, stupid, and reckless, but Susie wipes the last of her tears away, pushes herself up, and tries to keep her voice from shaking.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun. Anyway sorry you guys had to wait so long for this one. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out a bit faster :P


	14. Chapter 14

Dinner is more awkward than usual, or maybe it just  _ feels _ more awkward, after what they did in the bedroom. They had kissed, recovered from the momentous discovery that they both wanted to, and then did it again like they needed each other to live until Asriel shouted at them to come down for dinner. The taste of the hot chocolate still lingers in his mouth, and Ralsei has to make a concentrated effort to not stare at Kris. He settles for picking at his food, instead. 

He can’t help himself from stealing a glance at Kris, and it’s written on their face that they’re thinking about it, too. Despite not knowing them for terribly long, Ralsei can tell that Kris is a little off - they pick at their food much like he does, brows furrowed and mouth pulled into a tight, concentrated line. Ralsei feels off himself, half joy and half bottled sheer anxious uncertainty threatening to spill over. The joy bubbles happily in his chest, but the anxiety sinks in his stomach like a rock.

Although...when he’s able to tear his gaze away from the human’s, it almost seems like everyone at the table is acting slightly off. Asriel is shoving small green things (peas, he remembers) into his mouth stiffly with one hand, other hand fiddling with his phone without even trying to hide it. Instead of reminding him to not use his phone at the table, Toriel is eating slowly, with a somewhat distant expression, apparently lost in thought herself. There’s little conversation, and when Asriel clears his plate, he stands up and excuses himself without explanation, staring at his phone as he walks away.

Toriel waves him off with a small grunt.

What did they talk about before dinner? Are they angry with him? He shoves a generous portion of mashed potatoes into his mouth, trying and probably failing to disguise the distress on his face. It tastes good, he can’t help but note.

He’s about to make his escape like Asriel did when a knock on the front door makes everyone jump. Toriel lowers her fork, slight frown creeping across her muzzle. “I wonder-”

“I’ll get it,” Kris grunts, shoving their mostly empty plate back and leaving at a pace that’s fast, even for them.

Ralsei fidgets, unsure if he should rise and chase after Kris, or stay seated. Toriel dabs at her mouth with a napkin and stands, so he follows her lead and stands, too.

“Normally I do not approve of wasting food,” Toriel says, gathering up dishes, “but I suppose it won’t hurt, this one time.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says, because he can’t think of anything else to say. His legs take him to the sink and he ends up running some dish water so he can start in on the dishes, suddenly feeling guilty about not helping out in the kitchen at all. Innerly, he chides himself for being a poor guest. He’s been too distracted with Kris.

Even now he’s thinking about kissing them again.

“Who is it?” Toriel calls, drying the dishes as fast as Ralsei can clean them.

“Um,” Noelle’s voice responds, hesitant and barely audible, “it’s- it’s me.” And then, just as Ralsei opens his mouth to reply, she adds, “And I brought Susie.”

There’s a second of silence, like a moment frozen in time, and then the distinct sound of a plate shattering against the floor. Ralsei cringes, Toriel stays as still as a statue, and Ralsei turns around to see Susie awkwardly standing in the doorway with Noelle and Kris.

“Mom?” Kris prompts, a trace of worry in their voice.

Nobody moves, as if in a trance, and then Noelle rushes forward, hooves clacking loudly against the floor and announcing her arrival.

“Oh, Mrs. Dreemurr,” she breathes, “your foot!” Sure enough, when Ralsei looks down, he can see a tiny amount of dust seeping out of Toriel’s foot from being cut with the sharp glass. He’s busy being dumbfounded that Lighteners would eat off of dangerous utensils, but Noelle takes charge of the situation. “Kris, get a broom,” she instructs.

Maybe it’s Noelle giving orders, or maybe it’s Asriel clomping downstairs as quickly as goatly possible, but the spell is suddenly lifted, everyone bursting back to life at once. Kris rushes to retrieve a broom, Ralsei abandons the bowl he was scrubbing, Toriel calmy maneuvering out of the glass minefield, and Asriel tries to ask two questions at once.

“What’s Mom doing here?” He blurts out, eyes wide and face full of worry.

“Why don’t,” Toriel says slowly, “we clean up this glass first, and then sit down for a little talk?”

Thankfully, the glass somehow managed to mostly avoid Ralsei, so he’s able to step back without getting sliced or stabbed with glass shards. Toriel pulls a chair close to her before seating herself. Just as Ralsei is about to offer to heal her, she’s working a gentle wave of green magic over her cut.

Her magic is powerful, and Ralsei decides to never cross her.

“It is awfully late for such a visit,” she says carefully, as if the time is what’s unusual here. She turns her attention to Susie, who has been awkwardly shifting her weight from one leg to the other the entire time. “I must admit, I am surprised to see you, Susie.”

“Same,” Kris says bluntly, emptying the dustpan of broken glass into the garbage.

“Uh, yeah,” Susie mumbles, head down, shrinking in on herself. Ralsei’s seen her slouch, beaten, knocked down to her knees by the king, and outright unconscious, but this is the first time she’s looked so…  _ small. _

Something in his chest twists. Seeing her like this somehow makes him feel cold, like he’s not the outsider here.

“Susie,” Noelle murmurs, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder but stopping short.

Ralsei wants to leap forward and pull Susie into the hug she so obviously needs, but he forces himself to stay still and exchanges a look with Kris instead.

* * *

 

Gingerly setting her empty teacup down on the coffee table, Toriel faintly realizes that she hasn’t felt this shaken in a very, very long time. Susie’s been gone long enough to be declared dead, and as tragic as it was, everyone had accepted her death as the most likely outcome of her disappearance. She had a troubled home life, after all, everyone said.

Gossip is a sin, but she’d said it, too. It seemed as if the entire town had prayed, searched, and mourned for this youth.

And then the girl shows up at her doorstep hand-in-hand with the mayor’s daughter, refusing to talk about where she’s been the whole time, or how exactly how she knows Kris’s new friend, or anything at all, really. She’s still wearing the clothing she was last seen in, something in the back of her mind notes, as if it’s important.

Susie won’t make eye contact, choosing to stare down into her lap for the majority of the discussion. She let Noelle gently lead her into the living room, tired and docile, a far cry from the firey, spirited girl Toriel knew from school. Toriel feels goosebumps prickle under her fur, and she can’t help but think the worst. Second worst, she corrects herself internally.

She seems uninjured and mostly clean, which is good, (she hopes) but confusing. Upon further inspection, the girl sitting on her sofa looks to be at a healthier weight than the skinny girl in the missing persons photo. She definitely hasn’t been living in the woods the entire time, Toriel decides. 

Noelle denies Toriel’s suggestion that she was keeping Susie at her house, which was a far-fetched idea anyway, and when Toriel suggests they call the police, all five youths immediately protest the prospect, each excuse weaker than the last.

Ralsei chooses that moment to get up and put on another round tea for everyone, which earns a small but genuine smile from Susie before it slips back into its previous expression of absolute misery.

Toriel asks how they know each other, because they obviously do, which results in blank, guilty stares from everyone present. It’s equal parts exhausting and frustrating, trying to wring information or sense out of any of the young people gathered in her living room.

Exasperated, she lets herself sigh and rub her temples, not bothering to school the look of agitation on her face into anything smoother. “I would appreciate it, my children, if at least one of you would tell the complete truth,” she exhales. It’s half past eleven, and this is not how she wanted to be spending this time with her son.

“We can’t,” Kris, Noelle, and the returning Ralsei all say at once. Susie looks up, stricken, at Noelle.

“It’s my fault,” Susie says, sounding ready to burst into tears at any moment.

“Mom-” Asriel starts, leaning forward intensely as if he’s about to divulge the secret to the universe, and Toriel notes that it makes Kris and Ralsei cringe, but she interrupts him with a raised hand.

“Stop,” she commands, tired. “Just stop. It is late. You are all as tired as I am, no?” She doesn’t wait for a response. “We will pick this up in the morning. I do not care who sleeps where. You-” she points at Susie, and the grieved look on the youth’s face makes soften her tone, “-will stay  _ inside this house _ for the night. Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” Susie mumbles into her lap.

Satisfied that she’s done what she can for the night, she rises. “We will figure everything out in the morning,” she lies, “for right now, I want everyone to stay put and get some sleep. Everything will be better in the morning.” She tries to inject as much maternal assuredness into her voice as possible, keep the words from ringing hollow, assure these children - this child - that the adults in their lives know what they’re doing, but…

The words feel empty and cold even as they leave her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noelle, darling, Toriel probably doesn't want to be called Mrs. Dreemurr anymore! Silly girl.
> 
> Suuuper off topic but I've been shiny hunting a lot in Pokemon, even when writing, and now I will forever associate this chapter with the frustration of catching four non target shinies in one day. Curse you, friend safari!


	15. Chapter 15

“I’m so sorry, Dad,” Noelle whispers into the phone. The display informs her that it’s a little past one, and she’s pretty sure she’s never felt this guilty in her life.

She apparently hadn’t kept proper track of time in the dark world, and she ended up being gone long enough to seriously worry her parents. Susie had insisted on saying good-bye to her dark world friend Lancer, surprising everyone by bringing him into a crushing hug before they set out. At least his castle (and what a strange thing, to have royal acquaintances who live in castles) was on their way out. Well, at least her father has been worried. Her mom probably hadn’t even noticed she was gone yet.

She would have called right away, but with a distraught Susie by her side - well, she’d had to settle for a text message promising to call later.

“Aw, it’s alright honey- well, no, it’s not, you really had me worried there! But! I remember being a young person myself,” he rasps into the phone, making her bristle for more than one reason.

“Dad,” she tries, stealing a glance at Susie’s sleeping form on the couch. She’s nestled into her side, and the warmth is just a little distracting. “It’s- it was just Temmie and I-”

She’s cut off by a laugh that’s rough in nature but gentle in spirit. “Honey, I know you weren’t with Temmie. Which is fine.” His voice grows somber. “I know...I know this whole thing with Susie has been tough on us all,” he continues, and Noelle has to bite back a sputtering sound, “and I understand that you want your own space-”

“Dad-”

She cuts him off, and then neither one speaks for a few moments. Even without being there with him, she can practically feel his emotions radiating through the phone. Tiredness, worry under the guise of gentle banter, and that ever present adult anxiety about looking out for her as if she’s still a frightened little fawn.

“I’m fine, Dad,” she says again. “I’m sorry that I forgot to call you; I’ll make sure to visit tomorrow.”

A gentle chuckle crackles through the speaker. “Heh, alright. You’re growing up so fast - just don’t forget to call again!” She can  _ hear _ the forced smile. “I guess it is pretty late though. Good night, Noelle!”

“Good night, Dad,” she murmurs back before disconnecting.

It’s only after she gently sets her cellphone on the coffee table that she allows herself to sink back into the couch and heave a deep sigh.

She  _ should _ curl up here on the couch next to Susie and try to get some sleep. Instead, she gingerly reaches out to stroke Susie’s hair as she takes stock of the room and her situation.

Kris is tucked away in the big recliner, apparently sleeping deeply. Asriel’s simply lying on his back on the floor, hands folded over his chest and just on the verge of snoring. Ralsei, on the other hand, is snuggled into a nest of pilfered blankets from upstairs and appears quite cozy despite being on the floor.

She feels a little bit guilty about leaving Asriel in the most uncomfortable position, but he’d insisted he’d take the floor, rejected the offered blankets, and hadn’t fought Ralsei’s suggestion that they all camp out in the living room for the night.

Well, no one argued about that, a shared and unspoken desire to be close to each other. There hadn’t been a need to say it out loud: now that Susie’s back, things are going to change. They just don’t know how yet, and honestly, that’s the worst part.

It’s only a matter of days before Asriel and Ralsei have to both head back to where they really belong, and it’s weighing on everyone. They haven’t talked about it much, but they all know access to the dark word is only going to get harder as time goes on.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Asriel begins to stir, carefully and quietly pushing himself up.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” She whispers.

Asriel flinches, just slightly. “Ah, I don’t think so,” he whispers back, voice gravelly. “How long have you been awake?”

“I haven’t slept.”

“Not surprising,” he says, more to himself than her. “Kitchen?” He pushes himself up as quietly as he can manage.

“Yeah.” It takes some work, getting off the couch without waking Susie, but she manages. Walking as softly as she can manage with hooves, she follows Asriel to the kitchen.

“You know, the break is almost over,” Asriel says, dumping himself into a chair and echoing her thoughts from before.

“Yeah,” she repeats, settling into the seat across from him. “I’m glad I got Susie to come back before it got too hard to go back and forth to the dark world.”

He nods, and it’s only now that Noelle can see the slight bags under his eyes. “I’m surprised she listened to you at all. She kept swearing up and down she was never coming back.”

“I don't think she would have come back if you hadn’t told her she could stay here.”

Asriel scratches his chin thoughtfully. “Really?”

“Really.”

They sit in amiable silence, listening to the crickets chirp outside, and Noelle realizes this is the first time she’s talked to Asriel one-on-one in years. He somehow manages to seem just the same as the day he left, but also older, somehow. It’s probably just her imagination.

“We have to stop going back and forth so much, or else someone is gonna get stuck in the wrong place,” Asriel finally says.

“What about Ralsei?”

Asriel quirks a brow. “What about Ralsei?”

Noelle shrugs lightly. “I don’t know, it’s just, well. He’s getting to be friends with everyone, right? It- it would be kind of sad if we didn’t get to see him anymore.”

Now it’s Asriel’s turn to shrug. “Yeah. I know Kris is really attached to him, but…”

“But…?”

“He’s not from here. He’s not really supposed to be here, you know? I’d like to see Kris move on…”

“Why?” Noelle asks, genuinely curious.

“Because!” Asriel sputters, throwing his arms out like the idea of Ralsei is something that needs to be contained. He catches himself before waking the rest of the house. “He’s- He’s not  _ from  _ here!” He tries and fails to whisper. “I don’t care who Kris dates, really, but I’d prefer it be someone from our own world!”

“Why, though?” Noelle leans back, avoids eye contact. Asriel seems a bit on edge; she shouldn’t push, but she can’t help herself.

“Because!” He half-yells again, before remembering the time and quieting himself again.

“I just wish-”

“He’s-”

They both start. Stop. And then they laugh, tired and quiet.

“So, you and Susie-”

“Y-yeah, me and Susie-”

“That’s good-”

“She’s so-”

Again, they both stop.

“We should be sleeping,” Noelle says.

Asriel just nods. “We should.”

“But I can’t,” she says.

“I can't either.”

“I’m- I’m scared,” Noelle admits, more to herself than Asriel. “I’m scared of the future.”

He nods gravely. “I am, too.” He leans back in his seat and chuckles, low. “I thought coming back home would be a great time to just chill out and like, not have to worry or think too hard about anything. I guess I was totally wrong, though.”

“This whole thing is just,” she throws her hands up, at as loss. “Wild,” she decides. “It’s so wild.”

“Do you think Ralsei will go back to his world and just stay there?” Asriel asks, picking at his claws with an obviously feigned disinterest.

“I don’t know,” Noelle says. “I don’t know him that well, you know?”

“What are we gonna tell Mom?” He asks, completely switching gears again.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I feel like I don’t know anything.”

Asriel barks out a low laugh. “Yeah, I don’t know anything either.”

“I know we can’t tell her that there’s, l-like, a secret world hidden in our school.”

“Definitely not,” he agrees.

“Do you think Ralsei is gonna stay?”

“I think...I think he’s gonna want to be wherever Kris is.”

She sighs again. “We need to talk, just the five of us. Without any adults around. We need to figure out who’s staying where-”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna break it to Kris that Ralsei needs to go back to the dark world.” He meets her eyes, challenging her. “He  _ has _ to go back, Noelle.”

She sighs, buries her head in her hands. “I know. It would be wrong to drag Susie back and try to let Ralsei stay.”

“And it sucks! Because he’s...he’s nice. I- god, I spent all this time trying to keep him away from Kris because I thought there was something  _ off _ about him-”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I could have been nicer to him.”

“You were looking out for your sibling. He’ll understand,” she says, injecting false confidence into her voice.

There’s the gentle scrape of a chair, and when she looks up, Asriel is standing and stretching. “We should go back, even if we don’t sleep.”

“I guess.” She pulls herself up, entire body feeling weighed down. “We have to figure out how to talk without any adults around tomorrow, though.”

“I know. We’ll figure it out in the morning,” Asriel promises, and she supposes the expression he makes is supposed to look reassuring, but it’s too eerily similar to the looks doctors give her family before delivering bad news.

She does her best to smile earnestly. “It’ll work out,” she says, hoping that it’s true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates will probably slow down again for a bit, for,,,,reasons,,,, but we're getting close guys,,,,I'd say this probably has 10k or less words left on it,,,at least I hope lmao


	16. Chapter 16

Unsurprisingly, Asriel does not accomplish more than a few hours of fitful sleep. Even more unsurprising, his back protests with stiff muscles when he sits up, harshly reminding him that sleeping on the floor was a stupid idea. At least he didn’t get stepped on. Small blessings, he tells himself.

There’s only a sliver of light creeping in through the window, casting a gentle and almost otherworldly glow over the living room and its sleeping occupants. He’s pleased to see that Susie didn’t disappear during the night, slumped awkwardly over the armrest, Noelle still curled up by her side with her head in Susie’s lap and feet dangling off the couch. Since when did they get so close?

It doesn’t really matter, he supposes.

He stretches, rolling his shoulders in a pointless attempt to loosen the soreness and tension out of his joints. He’s got a feeling that today is going to suck, and sore muscles will be the least of his problems. Kris is going to be so, so angry with him. He reaches down to touch his half of the heart necklace under his shirt and frowns to himself. No matter what, he’s their big brother, and it’s his job to do what’s right for them. Even if they don’t like it.   


They’ll get over it, he reminds himself. It’s puppy love, nothing more.

Kris is still asleep on the recliner, apparently sleeping deeply. Their face is pinched with worry, an expression Asriel isn’t used to seeing on their face. With a sigh, Asriel forces himself up. Kris might be a heavy sleeper, but there’s only so much time. No matter what happens today, things are going to change drastically.

Praying that Ralsei isn’t the type to startle awake, he creeps toward the makeshift blanket nest and reaches out very gently to shake his shoulder. “Ralsei,” he whispers, bringing a finger to his lips.

“Mm, wh-”

Asriel slaps his hand against Ralsei’s mouth. “Shh,” he hisses.

Luckily Ralsei seems to get the idea and quietly starts disentangling himself from the bedding.

Ralsei follows him into the kitchen, and Asriel wastes no time getting to the point. “You know you  _ have _ to leave today, right?”

The other goat frowns gently, expression uncharastically muted. “I know,” he says quietly.

“Look,” Asriel starts, words pouring out of his mouth faster than he can think through them, “I know I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you. I didn’t give you a chance before deciding I didn’t like you, and you handled it like a champ, and as much as I wish I could go back and undo it, I can’t. I know it’s probably really too late, but I’m sorry.”

Those are not the words he expected to come out of his mouth, but the words come, and Ralsei’s frown slowly reforms into a sad smile. “I don’t have any siblings or family. I’ve been alone for a long time, but…”

There’s a creak from upstairs, signalling the inevitable arrival of Mom, and Ralsei cuts himself off to tilt his ear towards the sound.

“I really like Kris,” Ralsei finishes, sensing that they’re running out of time.

Asriel finds a small smile of his own spreading across his face. “I know,” he says. He remembers his first “serious” girlfriend and how real it felt. It’s silly now, looking back on it. He still remembers how real it felt.

They let the silence hang, though they both know they shouldn’t. There’s things to do.

“We’ll figure this out,” Asriel lies.

And then Ralsei’s launching forward, hugging him, and he feels like even more of an asshole. Not to mention just a little awkward.

His stomach lurches a little when he realizes he’s going to have to explain to Mom why Ralsei’s vanished later, and he can just see the look of betrayal on his sibling’s face, but…

But it’s what’s best for everyone, he reminds himself. Susie and Noelle will understand, and it’s alright if Kris is angry with him for a little while. Well, not really, but it’s not they were talking to him before the break. There’s plenty of other boys out there, anyway.

“Ralsei,” he says seriously, removing himself from the hug and gripping the other goat’s shoulders. “You should go right now.”

“Go?” Ralsei blinks in confusion, the perfect picture of naiveté.

“Mom is going to have a lot of questions, and I know we won’t be able to answer most of them. It might be better if you’re just not here-”

Ralsei takes a step back. “What about Kris?”

Asriel bites his lip, thinking of the best way to word his next sentence. “I know this really sucks, but-”

There’s a series of creaks coming from upstairs, and Ralsei sighs, looking only slightly like a deflated balloon. “No, you’re right. I’ve been away too long.”

Well. That had been easier than expected. He still feels like a jackass, though.

“Do you need help getting back, or-”

Now Ralsei lays a hand on his shoulder. “I think I can get back by myself. Just, um, tell Kris to visit me again sometime?” He tries to smile, but it splinters, and the shakiness in his voice gives him away.

“Of course,” Asriel smiles and lies again, mentally making a note to go confess at church as soon as he has the chance.   


The sound of Mom coming down the steps signals the end of the conversation, and maybe the end of something else, and Ralsei lets go of his shoulder and takes a step back.

“I-” he starts before shaking his head and silently gliding to the front door.

“Sorry,” Asriel whispers after him the second the door closes. His stomach churns, and he feels like scum.

* * *

 

“He- his ride came to pick him up early,” Asriel claims, thoroughly unconvincing. It’s a bad lie, and it’s accompanied by bad acting.

 Kris scowls openly, and they can feel their hands tightening into fists in their lap despite their attempts to remain calm. Susie and Noelle exchange a look, and Mom is clearly forcing herself to remain collected.

No one is happy with this situation.

Mom closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “So you’re going to just keep lying to me,” she says, voice dripping with-

With something. Kris is pretty sure they’ve never seen her this angry before.

Asriel fidgets. “Mom-”

Abruptly, she stands up from the table. “I’m calling-” she sneers, “-your father. Do not leave my sight,” she warns, the coldness of her voice making Kris shiver.

She steps away, aiming for the phone, and Kris takes the opportunity to give their brother a dirty look. He misses it though, because he’s too busy staring down at the table. It makes their blood boil.

“This is a shitshow,” Susie quietly announces under her breath. Kris is inclined to agree with her, though they don’t voice their feelings out loud.

Noelle hums in quiet agreement. “I can’t stick around long. I-I have to go see my dad.”

They don’t see how that’s exactly relevant, but they can’t be bothered to care.

“Kris, I’m sorry-” Asriel starts, and a flash of anger surges through them again.

“Shut up,” they say plainly.

“I don’t care,” Toriel’s voice echoes from the other room, shushing the conversation in the dining room. And then, quieter, “Just help me.”

“I hate this,” Noelle whispers, shrinking in on herself.

“You shouldn’t,” Susie counters, “I’m the one who fucked-”

“ _ Language _ ,” Toriel corrects, stepping back into the room.

Susie wilts at that, falling silent.

Mom seats herself at the table again. “All I asked of you was that everyone stay put for the night.”

No one can look at her, and everyone sits in a heavy silence until there’s a knock at the front door.

“Come in,” Toriel calls, voice icey.

“Howdy,” Dad calls out, tentative.

Susie stands abruptly, slamming her palms onto the table and making everyone flinch. “Look. I get it,” she says, letting her bangs cover her eyes and staring down at the table, “I messed everything up. I can’t- I can’t say where I’ve been, or what’s happened, or why I ran away in-” She stops, a strangled noise escaping her throat and a poorly hid sniffle betraying her emotions.

Noelle puts a hand on her shoulder, Dad looks deathly uncomfortable, and Kris can feel Mom’s anger beginning to ebb in favor of sympathy.

They want to put their anger aside too, but when they peek up at Asriel’s face (the picture of nauseated guilt) and then at the girls, and another wave of it washes over them.

Susie has Noelle and Noelle has Susie, and they’re here by themself. It’s stupid and petty and they don’t care. He didn’t even let them say goodbye.

Ralsei apparently didn’t even care to say it, either. An angry, heavy feeling churns in their gut and they grit their teeth.

“Susie,” Mom says, voice soft and nurturing again, “I just want to help you. But I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what happened.”

Dad looms awkwardly before deciding to quietly put on some tea (as if that will solve anything) and the stillness of the room feels suffocating.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Susie finally sniffles out, sitting down again.

It makes Kris’s skin prickle. Which part is she talking about? The dark world, or something else?

“Does it even matter? I’m back now. Everything can go back to normal, right?”

Asriel perks up now. “No!” Both adults turn to stare at him. “I know that you don’t want things to go back to normal! Because you said-”

“Shut the fuck up, Asriel.”

“Language,” Mom and Dad say at the same time, though there isn’t any heat behind it.

“Just shut the fuck up,” Susie repeats, and now she’s trying and failing to hide the fact that she’s crying.

“You have to tell them, Susie,” Asriel says, low.

The tea kettle whistles.

“You don’t have to go back,” Asriel tries again.

Dad turns off the burner, the kettle stops its shrieking, and Susie can’t seem to stop herself from crying openly and in earnest. Shoulders shaking and chest heaving, she’s unable to accept the tissue Mom is offering her, nails digging into the table.

Kris doesn’t miss the way Mom looks at Dad. It makes their gut churn even more.

They wait for what feels like hours as Susie eventually cries herself out, sipping awkwardly at their tea as she gathers the ability to speak. At some point Noelle’s hand makes its way from her shoulder and into Susie’s hand, and it stays there.

Dad clears his throat. “Maybe we should take a break.”

They disperse, most of them grabbing a mug of tea and slinking away to different parts of the house. Kris ignores the tea, trudging upstairs and unable to hide their sour attitude. Asriel tries to follow them, tries to apologize, and they’re more than happy to shut the door in his face.

“Kris-”

“No,” they retort.

He knows what he did. They feel his presence linger at the door for just a moment before he gives up and turns away.

They let themself fall into bed, tired, numb feeling. They should be supporting Susie and Noelle right now, but…

They can’t really bring themself to care. They want Ralsei back. They want to bring him close, rest their hand against the small of his back, kiss him until they lose track of time and forget everything that isn’t him...

Instead they’re here, alone. They’d kissed, more than what Kris could have hoped for, but yet somehow not enough. They want Ralsei with them now, soft and warm and perfect under their own body. They want-

They can’t help but feel they want too much. Still, nevertheless, they pull the covers over their head, trying and failing to pretend the wetness at the corner of their eyes are coincidental.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor babies :'(
> 
> i bit off so much more than i can chew with this project and i am Suffocating


End file.
